Diary of a Future Accountant and Poet

Day 1

Am here thinking that sometimes Jehovah humbles us to confirm that he is Supreme and the Creator. Am here right now at the verge of losing all things that is important to me and that’s my education. This is really precious to me. Really important. To have that degree will give me the edge.yes it will. I really want this.i really do. I want to be somebody. I want fame and fortune and its like I am losing it all!

Just had sex. Condom broke!I am really losing it all!!!My future. Please Yahweh help me.i have been put down , humiliated, mocked, treated and felt like the worse!!! F@@@K!!!

The main reason why I feel like I want to give up is work. Yeah I am working at the correctional services credit union and it is like my worse experience ever. It’s like the whole experience want to be for nothing. Nil. Zilch. Is there such a word? Anyways I think the people at work think am crazy (as my supervisor keeps reminding me that I need a psychiatrist. But really he needs one more than me caz he is having memory problems. Can’t remember things and then calling others liars. I tell you the worse thing is to be crazy and not knowing it!) And are using that to get me out of a job or to bring me down. The classic bad mind game. And hello you all it does exist. There are people out there who actually are happy for person’s downfall. Esp. if you have potential... as my co- worker puts it they (meaning my supervisor, L.C, J.D-D the big fat pig of a manager and others) want to get rid of me because if I continue my education I’ll be more qualified than them. Oh my God! Sad isn’t it?

Day 2

I left work yesterday. I mean I quit! Is my life really ending? Is my fu@2ing life ending without me achieving my goals? Am I really insane as they say? I think a little (or maybe a lot!)Give me the strength Yahweh! It was unexpected. I did it because I was frustrated of the way how I was treated, I believe it was time to move on. To greener pastures. I sincerely believe my time there is up. My time of hell fire is up at that place. I know I will go through more. This is to build me. To make me stronger.my time there of burning in the flames is capoot.done. I have gone through it all. Yeah. Sad but I was not improving there after a while. It’s like I was stuck at one place. Not moving or improving my life. At one forever level. It’s like the same cycle on and on again.

Something like rewind. Inverse. I mean reverse. I smoke today. Sometime earlier in the day. All now am feeling the effects. I can verifiably tell you smoking is bad for your mental health. It first starts with illusions, then hallucinations then paranoia. Then pops it f@2ks up with ur medz subtly. Am being honest!!! Help me Yahweh!

I had an interview sometime last week at 7 30. But could not make it. I called and begged for another second chance. Had that second chance today same time. But I showed up really late, they said that they really wanted me but my punctuality was not good. Called asked for another chance and was told no third chance. Help me Yahweh! I really need to be punctual. Plus give me the strength to resist ganja and smoking in general!!1 My life is slipping away. Help me to take back my life and set it your way so that I can be led by you.