abc advent calendar

Here, a handpainted wooden sugarplum fairy and a small homemade chocolate, what was yours? :-)

behind mine is a drag and drop map of the middle east ...

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/just_fun/games/mapgame.html

i am surprised by many things about it ... firstly my own geographical ignorance but also ... how small lebanon is, how big algeria is ...

how long it takes me to learn anything these days ...

on balance i'd rather have a chocolate - but it wouldn't be so self improving ...

I didn't get the chocolate :-)
Nice resource, will half-inch it for my smallest one, Ta!

Well, whaddaya know. Even more maps behind my door...
but this time against the clock

http://www.yourchildlearns.com/map-puzzles.htm

this really isn't helping the pile of Christmas cards...

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

and what is behind the second window?

for me it's a handmade burger with lovely chums and a trip to leicester's biggest and best spoken word night - Word!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=38084115958

wooooooooo

I want to do tomorrow's - go on, let me do it. Go on. Go on. Go on.

*taps foot*

Well I've just found something nasty behind door number three - a vitriolic review of my book on Amazon. What gets me is that I don't see why the person bought it in the first place! It's so obvious what it's going to be like - they can even search inside it! it's a P a r o d y.....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nappygate-Antenatal-Conspiracy-Louise-Gallagher/...

*rips door from calendar and eats it*

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

I've tried to correct the erroneous report - maybe others could do likewise. What a bunch of rubbish.

Back to the advent calendar. I searched for all of two minutes and found this incredibly unfunny site full of Christmas cheer:

http://www.funnychristmas.com/

I'll try and do better later - but for something truly appalling, funnychristmas is the place.

Ah thanks, Tony - much appreciated. Have just tipped off Santa that the reviewer in question is a Jehova's Witness...

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

and behind door 4 ... something to play with ...

http://www.tony-b.org/

turn your speakers up very loud and any teenagers in the house will be amazed ... or horrified ... or probably scathing ...

xxx

behind my door 4 was...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1_adhunq4TI

I thought I'd heard some squelching in the toy box..

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

I'm told that this is 'cute'. I'm not so sure:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JKKNBUMy0II

I think it may be a sinister message from the remnants of the evil Bush empire.

Very Christmassy though - not.

Behind my door four were 3 male abctalers (who will remain anonymous) wearing nothing but a thong and a feather duster.

jude

missi, hox and tony cook?

Ah ha! No word of a lie - I've been looking for my feather duster for weeks. I'm neck deep in cobwebs (they tend to be on the ceiling).

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

*blushes*

Am I that transparent?

jude

That feather duster was very strategically placed, I'll have you know, but I did find the thong a tad wearing.

I put feather duster and thong into my search engine and look what popped up:

http://www.3wishes.com/french.asp

Ho Hum.

that feather duster doesn't look built in to ME ...

here's what's behind my door ...

www.2loop.com/snowflakemag.html

let it snow ... let it snow ... let it snow ...

Behind my door, was the tale of Abou Ben Adhem

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hoNytAEStws

This thread is more fun than the badinage between FTSE and Stefano!

ah ... well tell them to shove a feather duster where the sun don't shine ...

i opened door 6 early ... just after midnight ...

behind it ... to my relief ...

a zero on a random festive breath test ...

phew

behind door 6... I found...

a new feather duster.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

behind door 7 is a festive tea in northampton with my oldest chum ... imagine THAT ...

door 7 - hosting a children's party with a hangover.
~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

I haven't opened today's but I am hoping there's a driving licence behind it! I have my second attempt at the test later!

jude

Good luck, Jude!

*fingers crossed for jude*

i won't open any windows til we hear back from you ...

give em shit kid!

x

Thanks folk! It can't be any worse than my last attempt - feeling better prepared this time. Test is at 2.32 so I'll probably be logging in at about 4.00 to give you the news!

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

2.32 ... that seems remarkably precise

will be agog for news ...

and incidentally folks ... i am VERY good on the geography of the middle east now ... who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

if only i could get the hang of string theory ...

Just opened the door and

...

hurrah ... I passed and have a lovely test pass certificate!

jude

yayyyyyy

that's the best advent door yet!

well done jude

xxx

Well done Jude!! Excellent.

And expect to see Fish on Newsnight re the Middle East. Someone should have sent those links to the Republican party.

behind door 8 is... another smaller door... and another...

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

thank you all, I was very happy. I feel like a proper grown-up - even more than when I joined the company pension scheme!

Behind door nine is the old school classic 'Elf Bowling' http://www.freechristmasscreensavers.com/elfbowling.htm

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

Door 9 - some Christmas news

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/christmas-ruined-as-sarah-palin-shoots-ru...

Any ABCers enjoy writing spoof news articles?

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Behind my door today is this weird guy - he likes Christmas more than Biggus:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1088872/Man-celebrates-Christmas...

And congratulations to Jude - got a motor yet?

Behind today's door are several copies of ABCtalers' books which are xmas pressies for various family members.

Thanks TC, no motor as yet but probably buying a Ford Ka in the new year.

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

Behind today's door is a distinction in my latest MA assignment (a short literature review/ discussion paper, see http://judesworld.net/kass.html if you're interested in bioethics)!

I am having a good week!

jude

my word you are! congrats jude ...

behind my door today is a trip to see Simply Cinderella at the swanky new multi million theatre in Leicester - Curve

http://www.curveonline.co.uk/curve.php?pgid=0

posh

Congratulations, Jude!!! Kas are good, I said a tearful goodbye to mine earlier this year after 10 years yeoman service. It was a striking metallic green, I felt like I was driving a frog round the town. I used to get waves from most of the population, as nearly every car here is silver or white!

A Ford Ka?!

Not only does it look disgusting, but drives dreadfully, terrible 'trundle' and road noise! And the performance?!

I lose all respect for you writers as car choosers!! Pfft!!

Ha! I had a convertible BMW in my twenties! People - and their budgets - change.

Lol, conceded, I love my Golf GTI, but then I am young and foolish!

There are better small cars, y'know!

The other car I am considering is the Alfa Romeo 145. I really wanted the new Fiat 500 but I don't have secure parking and vandalism would be a dead cert. I live in central London and will rarely be going over 25 mph so I need a town car! When I move to Petts wood and have a house with a garage I can get something a bit nicer.

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

How about a Smart car? An old boyfriend had one, had the engine chipped - I tell you, 100 miles an hour in a plastic box on wheels with both windscreens only centimetres away was QUITE an experience!

Cities are so bad for cars - that's why I live in the middle of nowhere - big wide roads!

More congrats, Jude! For what it's worth, I've always found Fords very reliable.

And behind door 11 is... tickets to see Eddie Izzard for me and my 14 year old and... noodles in China Town for tea.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Lucky pair!!! Soooooo jealous! Especially since I am STILL ILL!

On the 12th day TC discovered what has to be the worst joke site in the history of the universe:

http://www.santabanta.com/jokescat.asp

And I discovered this:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/attractive_girls_union_refuses_to

which amused me

I am going to do 13 because the clock in the lounge is fast and is on tomorrow already.

Disturbing, but magical nonetheless:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus

and

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCSXr6qnv4

watch them one after another for the full effect! Who needs alcohol?! And, at worst, it will entertain the kiddles..!

I hasten to add that the ABC clock appears to be 15 minutes slow....my lounge isn't THAT fast!

and behind day 14

how to make someone a little pressie out of an old drink can ... handy in the credit crunch

www.atomicshrimp.com/st/content/drink_can_tinwork

My word, have just checked that out - some people really do have far too much time on their hands, don't they!

Thanks for the giggle!!!

behind door 15 is something fabulous really

www.ted.com

You're lucky, behind my door 15 was ...

well ...

this

(I don't want to play any more)

inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants

eeuw

shut the door quick

door 16

is echinacea

zinc

lemsip

two duvets and huge puce dressing gown ...

My sympathy, Jamesons & Rochesters Ginger here & a damned good chat with my mum. Hope you are feeling better

thanks lench ... bit better today ... what a vile virus ...

i was inspired by you to ring my mum and had a nice chat and then she said 'must go and put my fish in the oven ...'

people keep mentioning whisky ... i might go and get some! will emerge bleary and pasty from the house like something hatching ... urrrgh ... haven't been out for days

x

behind door 17 is a special present for ely whitley

http://lunaparc.com/anat_and_repro/enema_bag.htm

And behind door 17 I found...

the movie Inkheart - thoroughly good family romp on a literary theme - writing saving lives? Sounds like a jolly good read to me!

door 18

a lovely tool for readers

http://www.whichbook.net/

and 19

http://eclectech.co.uk/messagefestive.php?i=dle

And door 20 – sea level.

That’s a nicer pressie than you’d think, having just spent a week at 3,000 metres… amongst the biggest snow fall in ten years… lying beneath a duvet with a ski hat on… drinking orangina and lemsip. Some ski holiday. It’s so good to be home. Just don't mention the exchange rate.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

oh i am SO glad you're back ... it's been hell here without you ...

welcome home ... i've got some soothers here ... want some?

xxx

Behing today's door is a Sainsbury's alcohol free Christmas pudding for one. A little rubbery and disappointing.

P has gone back to his mammy in Ireland now and I am looking forward to a few days telly-free!

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

soothers? Soooooothers? Don't mess with me unless you can come up with the goods, Fishter. I did my last at 2,300 metres. I've been reduced to snorting Vicks Vapour Rub.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

lovely cherry flavoured ones lou ... all fresh and juicy ....

and that christmas pud sounds horrible jude ...

behind door 21 is this

http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/singlePoem.do?poemId=61

in memory of adrian mitchell who was a really lovely man and who died today

Gulp, sniff – is that poem as poignant as I think, or is it the remnants of virus?

Behind door – where the hell are we… 21. Youngest daughter on sofa, comatose with flu with older daughter sitting in background looking increasingly alarmed, checking her own temperature and counting days left until Christmas.

And a Christmas Day recipe for those still in the grip of it…

Invalid-friendly white fish formed into shape of turkey, served in a Karvol jus with cranberry and Paracetamol jelly and lashings of Fryer’s Balsam. Crackers to contain assorted Soothers and Kleenex paper hats.

Followed by incomprehensible game of charades due to collective raging temperatures.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

is a v poignant poem i think ... he came to leicester once and i had the good fortune to be his minder for the day ... i really fell in love with him, such a good, kind, real person ... he read that poem during his performance and it made me cry ... afterwards he gave me his copy and signed it with his signature drawing of an elephant ...

thanks for the recipe ... will make a note ...

i've just been attempting to bedeck the fish house - aiming for a miss havisham faded opulence - i've achieved an oxfam-ish hotchpotch of beads and fairy lights - not the boho elegance i quite wanted ...

hey ho ... another skewiff christmas ...

I don't make many posts during the year, I don't know why. I do however read much of what is posted. I enjoy and have learned from the different styles, and wonder at the range of creative thought and talent that goes into all the pieces. The forum too is an interesting read, though I find much of the comment very different from my own thoughts. But I think that the site has had a very good year and I write to say thank you to Tony and his admin team and to all those who have provided such an excellent read and provoked so much thought. At the same time I would like to wish all the writers and all the readers on ABC a very Happy Christmas and a Peaceful and Prosperpous 2009.

My eldest (28) has just informed me that NORAD is tracking Santas whereabouts this pm.

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html

Merry Christmas :-) wishing you all the very best for the New Year.

Behind the last door is this excellent piece from the Mash "GORDON Brown sat on the railing of the old iron bridge that takes people in and out of the small town of Bedford Falls ..."

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/it%27s-a-horrible-life-200812...

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

Superb, Jude.

Happy Christmas, everyone!!

Lou x

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Happy Christmas!

I bought My sister (who became a Mum in September) a copy of your book for Christmas. A few people got Spack and Drew's books and one person got Bukharin's poetry.

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

Merry Xmas J!
Are you a first time aunt?

The ABC clock is a bit off - it is 12.15

Ah, 17 mins slow.

So, Merry Christmas EVERYONE!

Yes, I am Auntie Judith for the first time (to Molly Margaret).

I hope everyone has a lovely day. Jesus has just gone into my nativity set and I am watching the service on the tellybox.

I'm (through choice) alone as P has gone to Eire so we're doing Christmas together on 29th. So I hope a couple of people check in here on the forum later on Xmas day to open some presents with me!

jude

"Cacoethes scribendi"
http://www.judesworld.net

merry christmas everyone

xxx

Aw, thank you, Jude!!

Hope everybody had a good day

x

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/origen048.html