My flatmate Dominika, who is rather posh, had her boyfriend Tom stay over this weekend. He is a pilot in the RAF and has a very loud posh voice.
Tonight, scrubbing the toilet bowl after a satisfying dump, I noticed that the bog-brush was already completely caked in cack. He had simply scraped his shit off the bowl onto the brush and then stuck it back in its holder.
Why is it he can fly a plane but doesn't know how to use a toilet brush? It makes me long for Communism.
Doeslittle | January 25, 2009 - 23:24
My housemate had his boyfriend stay over last weekend. I went to clean my teeth and the stench was so bad that I had to stand outside to brush them - racing in, spitting, rinsing brush and out again.
These things happen. Could have opened the window, but it was an unfortunate timing of bathroom visits, I thought.
However, as I was putting my toothbrush back I noticed that the entire toilet bowl was caked in cack! To the extent that I can only imagine that he had shat something the size of a cruise missile.
At this point I was enraged - the toilet brush and cleaner are right next to the toilet. I was so aggravated that as I walked up the stairs I couldn't stop myself saying 'Toilet brush' quite loudly as if I had some weird toilet related Tourettes. I even found my hand reaching towards my post-it notes to remind all users that should they shit small countries and find most of it clings to the toilet bowl that they might consider cleaning it. I managed to restrain myself thankfully.
At least RAF pilots clean the bowl.
Ewan | January 26, 2009 - 09:27
23 years in the RAF taught me that, far from being the Master Race, the pilots have always been selected from the kind of person brilliant at pinball/Space Invaders/Duke Nukem/Nintendo Wii or whatever will come next. What they never were - in my experience - was anything less than self-centredly arrogant. I was NCO aircrew - but I can clean a toilet - and the brush afterward. I would venture to suggest that Mac's plummy-voiced aviator was used to having someone clean-up after him.
andrea | January 26, 2009 - 18:56
My pa was an RAF tailgunner in the RAF during WW11.
In them days, they didn't even have toilet brushes.
Luxury!
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Macjoyce | January 26, 2009 - 19:30
Wow, were there really eleven world wars? I'm sorry I missed all of them. Damn my youth.
I mean, you'd think, wouldn't you, that a plane would be more complicated than a toilet brush. Wouldn't you?
Maybe Ewan's right. Maybe Tom normally has servants to wipe his bottom for him.
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FTSE100 | January 26, 2009 - 20:42
I am plagued by an elderly wing commander who regularly craps in my teapot. Is there some sort of spray I can use? I think he comes up through the plughole.
andrea | January 26, 2009 - 22:23
FTSE, flush 'im down the plug'ole - I do it regularly with spiders...
And fear not - he'll be pushing up the daisies shortly.
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Macjoyce | January 28, 2009 - 23:00
I bought a new toilet brush anyway.
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LindaC52 | September 21, 2009 - 09:41
Honestly, I almost throw up while reading your post. The answer to your question is nowhere to be found. The only thing I know is that he wasn't told how to flush the toilet and not scrape it with a brush and then return the brush without washing it.
Linda Costner
Mangone | September 21, 2009 - 10:07
Shouldn't that be B52?
Earlier posts made me wonder if these loud RAF chaps shout 'Bombs away'...