The BBC don't half milk Wimbledon dry. Tennis all day, tennis all evening, and then Tennis Highlights, Cops with Racquets, Animals do the Funniest Tennis, Tennis Chefs, Tennis Gardens, Tennis in the Attic...
I know who's going to win today's tennis. Andy is. I bet you.
The great thing about it is, you don't have to watch it. You know exactly what goes on: they hit the ball backwards and forwards across the fence until one of them gets fed up and doesn't bother to hit it back. Then they start all over again.
In my opinion they should decide which side of the fence the ball ought to be, then leave it there. Or one of them could keep all the balls that came on his side of the fence and run off with them. The other could either approach the fence and ask for his balls back or go shopping for some more. Or they could dress in cowboy outfits and shoot cap guns at each other, with the umpire intervening if one of them wouldn't take his shots.
Ah well, I expect they've finished the third frame by now, and one Andy has collected more balls than the other. One hundred and eight-teeeeee! I'll find out the result later and pretend I watched it.
Ewan | July 3, 2009 - 17:07
'It's an odd boy that doesn't like sport'
Hoorah for the Bonzos!
Footsie, I am a sports fiend, but I played up and played the game, I was ever a poor spectator.
Do not pretend you are not competitive! Did you not vow to poison the charlatans who triumphed over you in the last ABC competition?
Now don't forget, the Vessel with the Pestle contains the brew that is true... or was it the Chalice with the Palace?
FTSE100 | July 3, 2009 - 17:53
"Did you not vow to poison the charlatans who triumphed over you in the last ABC competition?"
Did I say that out loud? Damn, I must remember to keep my evil plans to myself or I'll end up a James Bond villain!
The Murray in a hurry has a racquet but can't hack it - Danny-K is my favourite rapper.
azrop | July 4, 2009 - 00:02
I crashed out of Wimbledon at the quarter final stage after my serve and volley game was adversely affected by an over-indulgence of bulked-up curry and ice-cold lager.
I challenged the Williams sisters (individually) to a fight, but both of them gave me a resounding thrashing. The younger one is longer in the leg, although the older one is more evocative in the 'boob' department.
I've now sacked my coach and vow to return next year. I'll be stronger, fitter and I'll make sure I always take my tennis racket with me. Andy Murray, a year older than today, will have to go some to beat me.
I'll better them Williams girls yet.
azrop | July 5, 2009 - 21:17
I was only pretending...
luigi_pagano | July 6, 2009 - 09:09
What a coincidence, azrop. There is a guy on UKAuthors who also challenged the Williams sister and was soundly thrashed.
azrop | July 6, 2009 - 12:10
That's not me, Luigi... it's my evil, half-brother. He really did get a thrashing by the Williams sisters. I also challenged them to a fight but they just walked away laughing. That's actually worse than getting beaten up by them.
I fancy having a go at the men's doubles next year, but I'm struggling for a partner. Are you available?
luigi_pagano | July 6, 2009 - 13:16
Luigi Nadal regrets he can't join azrop in the men's double next year because of dodgy knees.
brooosh | July 9, 2009 - 10:24
I'm in mourning cos it's over. I love Wimbledon.