Feedback

Firstly, I like the protagonists name 'Fayber Aulden' that got me from the off. A character with a substantial name is half a jobe done. I like his random idiosyncracies as regards HER!

"...Fayber Aulden realised it was only a matter of time before he found the very rhythm of her breathing intensely revolting..."

That is a 'character sentence' if ever the essence of a character can be found, with Fayber Aulden I think it is this line. To find the fact someone is 'breathing' nauseating reminds me of a thousand dour relationships.

At first sceptical in the end I got rather into it. I think I took a limited shine to it for no other reason than; the style is a gigantic contrast to my own, and often that is a lovely senstation. I tend to dwell a great deal on my own musings, and rarely accept others have thoughts too. Arrogant swine that I am, but this I enjoyed.

I've read 'Tears' and I like it very much. It has an Alice in Wonderland feel about it - I guess that's the tears. I think that the early section is a little overlong and could be cut by a few pars but all in all I enjoyed it immensely.

We are a community of writers and it is usual to give feedback first - and then it will come to you! As ye sow, so shall ye reap and all that.

Thanks to both of you for your considered comments. I appreciate the comment about giving feedback first, looking forward to getting involved and contributing positively to the site.

Pascal