Coldplay

Hate em

It seems odd to me that Coldplay are singled out for so much opprobium. There are all sorts of bands that record crappy songs. Are Coldplay's that much worse than the average?

All 3.

Skanky. Sleazy. Sordid.

No. I mean: 1) love, 2)hate, 3)don't care. All 3.
I think they should include Gwyneth in some way tho' - on the castanets?!

Who wouldn't want to see Gwyneth playing with her castanets? Does castanets work as innuendo? I'm not so sure now.

Innuendo: underestimated art form or puerile nonsense?

Is Gwyneth a real name? It sounds like a joke. Oh Gwyneth, please stop playing with your innuendos and knit me a curtain. Give your innuendo to the Inuit, cast away your castanets, and we shall dine on frog sporran and salty rainbows.

I expect you think you're very funny, well nobody else thinks you're very funny, in fact nobody else has even heard of you. Nobody even knows who you are. And if they did know who you are they wouldn't find you at all funny, and even if they did find you funny they'd be lying, so don't think you're funny because you're not.

You fancy Gwyneth - admit it!

As soon as Gwyneth admits to fancying me. But she's too proud for that. Let him make the first move, she thinks. Well, I'll show her. I'll say nothing.

Oh, Gwyneth!

You see - quod erat demonstrandum, as Gwyneth is wont to say over a lightly chilled glass of chablis.
Hang on - didn't you invent Fancy Pango?

Probably. I seem to remember inventing animan too. It's an anagram of
N-Mania, which is a madness brought about by Gwyneth.

Tell me about it. No don't. As Oscar Wilde once quipped rather amusingly "I expect you think you're very funny, well nobody else thinks you're very funny, in fact nobody else has even heard of you. Nobody even knows who you are. And if they did know who you are they wouldn't find you at all funny, so don't think you're funny because you're not."

Ah, Oscar's epigramophones. They have us in stitches. But nobody has heard of you, Oscar, I riposted wittily. And even if they had, it wouldn't drive them half as Wilde as Gwyneth.

Not that I'm obsessed with Gwyneth. I've never heard of her.

"'Risposted' surely, footsicle old chap", opined Gwyneth dreamily.

Hah! Think you can put one over on me? Of course you can, as long as it's one of your hand-knitted ones.

But is it big enough?

Ooooh, cheeky!

Yeah, G's just tweeted - she's not happy - better leave it there!! Quite a temper!

Our home life is our own business, says Gwyneth.

Oh dear, just received an email from Fothergill, Fortescue and Flopsie - this could get nasty.

I think Coldplay should have a cherry for "Yellow"- it's almost as good as the stuff on here..
atb
;)Pia

Hmm, maybe, I think I prefer 'Fix You' boringly perhaps and also 'Rainy Day'.
As a fully-paid up member of GAS (the Gwyneth Appreciation Society) and as a Goople hoping one day to become a fully fledged Goopie, could I please ask that Footsie com,es up with a much more honest protrait of Gwyneth that better reflects her soul and general excellence.

She looks like a reality star with bare shoulders-OMG
is she sweet? Typos Ms Author- protrait- why are we so fast on the draw? Good night to you!

It's just the lerve - I'll shut me gob, as Jude says in Closer or should have done - bless 'im!!

Don't you ever dare and shut your gob! We will all be depraved...

No seriously, I think I should as I feel this is all 'eading towards the whole Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman issue, and you know what Footsie's like, he's going to start hyperventilating and forget to exhale and then he'll explode or something and it's going to be an awful mess to clear up. Where has the little darlink gone by the way? Has the boss told him to shut his gob too?!

I'd have to say Coldplay is pretty awesome. Never understood the hate for them.

Okay, here's another starter for 10 - fingers on buzzers - no referring ...
Ant n Dec ...
1) love 'em 2) hate 'em 3) don't care 4) electrocute 'em 5) eat 'em

sorry, my NataliePortmanalarm just went off. Did someone just mention Natalie Portman. Is she in London, can I meet her, will she like me? I am so insecure, should I go or shouldn't I, will she get my cookie sense of humour, will she want me to pay for the wine - I am sure she will choose expensive wine, perhaps I will get papped - is that good, I don't know - will it hurt. Perhaps I shouldn't go - I've asked my mum and she says Natalie is a nice girl and she has seen all her films, especially the ones with Gene Kelly. I'm not going, thats it - don't ask me again.

Coldplay remind me of dog snot.

Coldsnot?

Was that a picture of Auntie Mabel with her left tit caught in the mangle?

Coldplay are meerkats. Al Murray says so. I like a couple of their tunes, though.

Dogsnot. Hmm... I saw some and it was all yellow...

A more appropriate band for the love/hate thing might be U2. Everyone I know who hates them also loves their music. I know this because I'm privy to all my friends' little secrets. All the rock intellectuals who wax boringly lyrical about Dylan, Lennon, Morrison, Young, Cave etc also secretly listen to stuff like Scouting for Girls and McFly... they'd just never admit it. I suppose we can all be snobs like that. I know I am. ;)

So... when it's time to go on Desert Island Discs, are we all going to be absolutely honest... or are we just going to choose what we think will make us seem cool to everyone.

The Doctor

If you're feeling kinda funny
And your temperature is high,
I can fix you.

If you're twitching like a bunny
And the flu just makes you cry,
I can fix you.

I can mend you with a spanner,
I can poke you with a stick,
I can fix you.

If Montana is your Hannah
I can hit you with a brick,
I can fix you.

Ooooooh prescription drugs!
Ooooooh reflexology!
Ooooooh those tummy bugs!
Ooooooh we want apology!
(oncology, anthology, trichology, biology...)

Fade to coda nit arse guitar pickle factory.

I hope you now realise how cool I am. I am a hep cat. Boop boop-a-doop and a hot cha-cha, as the kids and I are all saying these days. Mairzy doats or what!

I like Bananarama- They give me a broad outlook on life and they don't play guitars- do they?
If it's cool to like Coldplay then I am hot- actually I am sweating- maybe I have a temperature.
I think I have the flu
I am not in love with U2
the doctor can't mend me
and I hate Jeremy
I take a lot of prescription drugs
to keep away the doctor's thugs
I am constantly high
I am hip, I am cool and I never lie
But I wll never be able to
beat Footsie at his funny boo

gees I am a geek ;D

I like the Bangles (ay oh whey oh). On my desert island I shall walk like an Egyptian. Or maybe I'll take an Egyptian and teach him to walk like me.

No, I'll take Pia and we can write funny songs and throw seaweed at Jeremy Clarkson.

It's just another manic Thursday in Chez Stan...

Jeremy Clarkson is an anagram of romance sly jerk.