I'm wondering, if the multi-millionaire Jeremy Clarkson...

I think there are probably enough of us who would club together and pay the ransom with the proviso that the kidnappers DON'T release him.

Richard Hammond is child sized and thus a lot easier to kidnap.

Hypothetically speaking, would his multi-millionaire chums in government cough up for a kidnap victim in this case? They don't usually bother do they, particularly when the victim is a useful and decent human being working in a war zone for no personal gain, for example.

oh I don't think his over big head would be a problem well-wisher. They could dump him in the back of one of his own over big vehicles.

oh I don't think his over big head would be a problem well-wisher. They could dump him in the back of one of his own over big vehicles.

oh I don't think his over big head would be a problem well-wisher. They could dump him in the back of one of his own over big vehicles saving on transport costs.

Sorry about that. I hate repeating myself.

To put this into context for those working a night shift in Britain, TV 'personality' and government spokesman Jeremy Clarkson suggested on a prime time bbc tv news show yesterday that all those nurses, teachers, careworkers, (mainly British working women)should be "shot in front of their families", "executed", for taking part in a national strike yesterday.

Who does the BBC work for? It's the working British taxpayer that pays for it, but the nazi Clarkson's of this country that get their ugly voices heard.

If I was a man I would be sick of being represented by such ugly, inferior, over-indulged specimens as these.

Who does he expect to shoot public sector workers, the well paid, superbly pensioned public sector workers in the army? Or perhaps the overpaid, superbly pensioned public sector workers in the police? Oh, he didn't think about that, because public sector workers just do their jobs, which he probably thinks they should do for free, and the only time he thinks about them is when they're not there.

I'd laugh out loud if he got cancer of the mouth or groin and couldn't find a good-hearted public or private sector nurse for love nor money.

I'd love to see his rotting chums Cameron and Osbourne sharing a commode and a packet of toilet wipes with no low-paid helpers to hand. It would be more than what these tiresome, lard-arsed, over-indulged scum deserve.

And I'm very reasonable.

Cancer of the arse, then he wouldn't be able to talk

'...I'd laugh out loud if he got cancer of the mouth or groin ...'

that is a completely revolting and disgusting thing to say. you should be ashamed of yourself

you too, oblong

Cancer of the nob. And of the face.

Sheesh! Enough with the cancer remarks already!

I don't wish cancer on him but Clarkson is a giant waste of space. Maybe I wish piles on him.

Well, I suppose the reason why he has such low opinion of public sector workers is that he can afford private health care, so if he did get cancer he'd probably be treated privately.

But I'd rather see him get sacked. However the BBC have already lost Jonathan Ross; they probably don't have the guts to get rid of Clarkson.

JoHn -

"Ex amore victoria". ("From love comes victory".)

I love Jeremy Clarkson, just to annoy blighters rock 'n' roll, which is the best fun you can have with your hat on. He is my dream lover and I hope to meet him on ABC's new dating site. Clarkson, that is. If I met righters block I might have to chew off my own brain.

When Jemmy (he likes me to call him that) and I are sitting down to baby seal cooked in pollution followed by bankers' bonus with bastard and cream, we reminisce about the old days when the poor knew their place and enjoyed a good starving. We talk nostalgically about Gaddafi and how he really knew how to drive a country without even getting out of second gear. It's no fun to talk about Hitler any more, he's just a history lesson these days. As for the lovely Ghengis Khan, people think he's a boxer.

After dinner we pop out to smash public servants' caravans, but then realise there's not much point if we don't get paid for it. We look around for TV cameras but there are none. It's a cold and lonely world without the telly.

Instead we go to Jemmy's place to torture his private servants. He says it has always been his dream to crawl into a butler's womb but he's afraid his head will be too big. We try it out and discover he's right. We end the evening by phoning Russell Brand and telling him we've shagged his missus. He says he has too. Did she do that thing with the shampoo and the gerbil? No? There you are then, a treat for next time. We hang up while he still thinks it's Andrew Sachs.

peaceful - you're not really very peaceful are you.

Don't you have an opinion about what the fascist government spokesman Clarkson actually said.

He said that the peaceful protesters on Wednesday should be executed in front of their families for protesting.

I was there as an observer and can tell you that many of those peaceful demonstrators were for example, Macmillan nurses, who the multi-millionaire Clarkson may need one day. I hope so.

They, for example, are highly-skilled but low-paid. Clarkson on the other hand is highly-paid and without any skills or other qualities whatsoever.

Any idiot can drive a fucking car.

Enough with the wishing cancer on him. Don't get me wrong, I think he's a tosser, but as someone who's had it, I wouldn't wish that on anyone - even Jeremy Clarkson.

I had been unaware of what had prompted the original comment on this thread, but have now watched the clip online (god bless YouTube)

What I find most offensive is not so much his tasteless and misjudged 'joke' about executing the strikers, it was his response to being asked if he knows anyone who was on strike:

"Of course I don't. What, someone in public service? No I don't."

Very telling...

Of course, what he's forgetting is, his BBC salary is funded by the licence fee, paid for by the public - guess that makes him the public's servant?

The bastard made as joke. At the taxpayers' expense! Just where does he get off? His head's too big for one thing, which is quite enough to make any normal person hate him. And he's as talentless as Katie Price, who is forced to live on dog food because Clarkson has taken all the money in the world.

Top Gear should be a sensible show, answering important questions like: what can I do about the funny buzzing noise coming from the engine of my car? And the one coming from inside my head?

I hate Clarkson's hair, I hate him having more money than me, I hate him thinking he's famous when nobody has ever heard of him. I just hate him, and that's good enough reason for the BBC to sack him and get somebody like me to host the show. The only people I want on the telly are people like me. Bring back On the Buses. That was proper telly with people you could relate to.

And anyway, lorry drivers don't always kill the prostitutes they pick up. My uncle is a lorry driver and he often lets them live. He just beats them up a bit. So Clarkson is wrong about that too.

I don't wish he had cancer. I just wish he was lined up with a load of other overpaid right-wing twats and shot in the fucking head.

I would like to register a complaint about Archie Macjoyce. Why oh why oh why is he allowed to come on ABCtales and talk about shooting people in the head? Imagine if somebody like Jeremy Clacton or Bruciebonus Forsyth did it? Just because they are filthy rich doesn't mean they can't do things or something or whatever I'm talking about.

I'm angry. Just shoot somebody, will you? I don't care who, as long as it's not me.

I don't think he should be shot for what he said on the gogglebox. I just think he should be shot because it would be funny.

Couldn't we stuff his mouth with fireworks? Now that would be funny. Specially since he talks out of his arse.

I just think its wierd that he had to say 'in front of their families'. Saying they should be shot, as a joke, is one thing but saying they should be shot, 'infront of their families' just
sounds a bit sick.

I think that Clarkson should be made to apologize to the families, including the little children, in person and say to the kids. 'I'm sorry I made that joke about having your parents shot infront of you - I'm a sick, pathetic loser".

Then maybe the children could beat him with something.

According to the Telegraph, that rabid left-wing rag, 24.28% of voters (less than a quarter) found the comments offensive; 75.72% (more than three quarters) think Clarkson was obviously joking.

Go and vote now! If we can stop the wrong from voting and mobilise 7,500 right-thinking people we could at least get it to fity-fifty.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8930717/Jeremy-Clarkso...

A more practical punishment for Clarkson would be to ban him from driving and make him use public transport. He'd probably shoot himself then.

I've never had the time to do polls, nor do I ever believe them. Here's why...I just voted three times.

I could have voted more but, unlike lazy right-wing weirdos, I don't have the time. These right wing weirdos sit and click buttons while the workers are working. And then claim their views are the most popular.

I'm sure archie macjoyce's comment was a joke. The test is, did it make me laugh. Yes.

Clarkson isn't funny, that isn't a defence anyway.

Yeah, and you know who votes the most? Bankers, that's who. When they're supposed to be banking they're really supporting Clarkson. That's why no proper banking ever gets done in this country.

I got some money out of a cash machine today and there was no sign of its having been banked. If it had been banked at all, it was the lightest and most superficial banking any money has ever received.

It's funny how important it is to bankers that Clarkson should win a poll that nobody cares about. Why risk RSI when they could be out playing snookerballs? But they are programmed to keep voting and they don't know why. Science is behind it. You know what scientists are like.

Who else clicks buttons all day? In my imagination it's Angelina Jolie. Click, click, click. And space aliens. And clowns. And car park attendants. And Jews. Click, click, click.

Why is it that those who support Clarkson spend all day clicking buttons (and we all know that they do) whereas those who oppose him form an orderly queue and vote only once?

Thank you for listening to my entirely sensible and rational views. In my opinion I'm entitled to my opinion, or at least that's my opinion.

A man who punches Piers Morgan can't be all bad.

FTSE100 - Like I said, most people, ie. the workers and the weakened unemployed class, don't have time to sit all day at a laptop pressing buttons in some phoney online poll as the idle rich, do or their rotting paid servants.

It's not that difficult to understand. You try it if you don't believe me. I voted 3 three times for the same so called opinions, in a matter of minutes, before getting bored.

ps. re. your comment, most of the Jewish people who were caring and intelligent were executed in front of their families some time ago. Remember? Dumb, dumb, dumbing down.

I'm glad I don't have children. It was intentional.I didn't want them sharing this small planet with the thick and powerful, and I'm not Jewish or Black.

W?hat about compulsory sterilisation for the powerful-stupid, or is it too late?

Sorry. Only joking, joshing, kidding.

Oh, and Piers Morgan is a hateful specimen also, so what?

Yeah man, the fascist lackeys of the socialist reactionary insurgents are behind it all. They press buttons, or have their toilet-trained pot-arsed dog-lizards do it for them, and stick wally notes to their hot pranky noodles. That's the world we live in. Get over it. Have a nice daze.

When we've killed all the dunky knob-ridden snarky bumlouts, made them all die of cancer in front of their maiden aunts, the world will be a much better place. Compulsory sterilisation for the clowny bumfest rape-arsed funky feuders.

I think I mean I don't like anybody with more money than me.

Do you know what the rich do? They spend all day pressing buttons. You'd think they'd have something better to do, but no. That's what happens when you get rich. You spend all day pressing buttons.

Surely you don't disgaree?

Yeah well, i've had cancer and i'm jewish so that blows your shit out of the water. i've also watched a best friend die of cancer. i'm not black though.
And the bbc stated today that the (pretty obvious)clarkson joke was agreed between them and clarkson beforehand. i agree with ftse, get over it.

Get a life before pc crap rules the world. your remarks were distasteful and far more offensive than clarksons

So my comment about hoping that Clarkson gets cancer of the arse so that he never talks again is 'offensive' and clarkson's comment that trade unionists should be shot for wanting a pension is 'obviously a joke'. Shooting people, joke, nope I'm not there yet. I'm an amnesty activist so I've met unionists from places like columbia who have had their friends shot for striking and they did indeed piss themselves laughing, gosh it's so funny looking down on the corpse of a pc lefty, ha fucking ha.

Grow up. i was protesting before you were born probably. student riots in the sixties, paris and london, broken limbs and skulls. and then tell me how fucking ha you are. so yeah, watch someone you love die of cancer and then wish it on someone else.

I've had depression. And I'm Welsh.

Peaceful - Jeremy Clarkson is guilty of making jokes about having cancer himself, so why is it wrong to make a joke about him having cancer.

"TOP GEAR presenter Jeremy Clarkson has left people confused and angry after claiming he has had a cancer scare, but then claimed he was joking.

The journalist found himself in hot water today, after writing in his column that a tumour was found in his bowel, which then transpired to be a misguided joke.

Jeremy (51) said that a lump was discovered during a recent routine check, and that doctors were urging him to get the tumour removed in case it was cancerous.

The remarks came just one week after BBC DJ Chris Evans revealed that he had cancer scare. Chris (45) told fans of his Radio 2 show that doctors had to remove growths found in his bowel during a regular check-up.

Hole

Jeremy wrote in his newspaper column that he had also had a scare like Chris, but joked that he didn't have the time to get the tumour removed.

"Like Chris Evans, doctors recently found a tumour in my bowel which needs removing. Unlike Chris Evans, I can't find a hole in my diary to have anything done about it," he wrote.

Chris revealed that his father had died from bowel cancer.

"I was recommended by my doctor to go and have another doctor look at what is going on down below because of the history of cancer in my family," Chris explained.

"So I went for this routine check and they found some nasties and they removed them."

Jeremy's dark humoured comments caused a massive backlash last night when cancer charities blasted him for his comments. Although many of his fans believed he had a tumour, his representative confirmed last night that he was joking about the cancer scare.

"Jeremy says it's what happens when people talk out of their bottom," the spokesperson revealed, remarking on Chris Evans' situation.

And despite his spokesperson claiming that Jeremy's comments were a joke, friends have backed up his claims, saying cancer is never something the star would joke about

"It is not a subject Jeremy would mock, of course it isn't." a source said.

I have no idea what is going on. At all.

FTSE100 has confused the hell out of me. Peaceful isn't peaceful but is Jewish, tan isn't Jewish or Black, Archie is Welsh, well-wisher is well informed and no-one likes Peirs Morgan.

I'm tired. Time to lay back, findsome cucumber slices to put on my eyes and listen to Enya.

I'm really sorry, that was an extremly tasteless joke. I would never listen to Enya.

I have no idea what is going on. At all.

FTSE100 has confused the hell out of me. Peaceful isn't peaceful but is Jewish, tan isn't Jewish or Black, Archie is Welsh, well-wisher is well informed and no-one likes Peirs Morgan.

I'm tired. Time to lay back, findsome cucumber slices to put on my eyes and listen to Enya.

I'm really sorry, that was an extremly tasteless joke. I would never listen to Enya.

^ See? Told you I was tired.

Dear God, Make it prostate, with diabolical complications and a whole lot of pain.

We could do with a laugh.

Clarkson is an example of an educated lout. I can't think why anybody takes any notice of him. If he wants to say he's got cancer, why should I care? (My mother had cancer of the bowel. It wasn't a scare, it was the real thing.) If he thinks all strikers should be shot, bless him, he can say it as much as he likes. I'm not about to go out and shoot a nurse because Clarkson said so. Is anybody?

He's a TV show presenter, for God's sake. We all know he's a loutish idiot. So what? As long as he does his job and makes popular TV programs, that's all we require of him. That's all the BBC wants from him. Nobody looks to him for lessons in politics or philosophy. I'd think twice, then twice more, about even taking his advice on cars!

Clarkson is good at his job. Oh yes he is! You just have to look at the American Top Gear to see that. It's like Fawlty Towers without John Cleese. You just have to look at other channels' attempts to make their own version of the magic juice. They never get the formula quite right.

Top Gear makes loads of money for the BBC. It might not be to your taste, or to my taste, but a lot of people like it. The BBC doesn't pay him loadsa money because they like him and endorse his views. They make back his salary many, many times over.

I've seen more extreme views expressed on ABC forums than anything I've ever heard Clarkson say.

But the BBC is a Marxist conspiracy... obviously...

If kidnap fails, another possible solution to the Clarkson problem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JBTqFPtjPI

Clarkson is a Yorkshireman and therefore perfect in every way. Come On You Whites!

Clarkson is a Yorkshireman and therefore perfect in every way. Come On You Whites!

I don't like him

Jesus loves him, this I know,
For the buy bull tells me so.

But I don't like him.

Does anybody think he might be Coldplay?

Who's Jeremy Clarkson?

Coldplay.

The opposite of Coldplay would be Hotwork... a far better name for a rock band.

I always liked "The Beatles" as a name.

I always like 'The Beatles' as a band... though in those days, they called them 'groups', or even 'combos'.

I always liked "Paedophile and the Racists" as a band name.

Too cute and cuddly. Face and the Town Relocations might work.

I don't like Coldplay- gives me the chills