I found this while doing a little spring cleaning. Originally posted by somebody called Eddie Gibbons. Does anybody with a ten-year-plus memory know why he was banned and never forgiven? Too late now, his account is gone. I thought the post might be entertaining, so here it is.
The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Albadross - New Wave Scottish Writing.
Blood Doner - Undercooked fast food.
Cathletics - Sports Day at The Vatican.
Disneylard - Cartoon fat.
Dodocahedron - Extinct geometric shape.
Enginearing - 12 valve jewellery.
Frission - Exciting cell division.
Guestapo - Feisty Hotel staff.
Hindirance - Indian obstacle.
Illuson - Houdini's lad.
Jehovah's Witless. Fundamentalist idiot.
Kalasari - Fashionable desert wear.
Lauremate - Poet Laureate's partner.
Meaori - Kiwi cat.
Nostadamus - Nostalgia for the future.
Ouzone - Greek Tavern.
Pratypus - Stupid mammal.
Queasimodo - Hunchback with fear of heights.
Rastronaut - Jamaican spaceman.
Splashdrown - Unsuccessful re-entry.
Typefaeces - Crap typography produced by DTP.
Uttermoist - As wet as can be.
Vroomstick - Used by Formula 1 witches.
Wonderfuel - Petrol for above.
Xerok - Small lump of carbon found on photocopy.
Yelloh! - Surprising colour.
Zenophobia - Fear of Buddhists.
Exactly how bored are YOU?
FTSE100 | December 22, 2011 - 03:37
Some ancient replies:
Angoraphobia - fear of open sweaters.
Omosexual - someone turned on by soaps.
Pantemonium - loud underwear.
Chithole - somewhere to store your post-it notes.
Angoraphobia - fear of open sweaters.
Omosexual - someone turned on by soaps.
Pantemonium - loud underwear.
Chithole - somewhere to store your post-it notes.
Enormouse - very large rodent.
anorank - smelly coat
bungaloo - single-storey house for eskimos
coca-coma - alcopop
Hurrible - quick and nasty
Breakfaust - early morning temptation
Advantures - dicing with the man in the white vehicle
Samurail - heavily armed train for hire
Embruce - the grip of a drunken Aussie
Peccadildo - indiscretion with a fallacious phallus.
Daubble - what a bad dilettante painter does.
Sircumvent - a piece of apparatus at the sperm bank.
Holocause - An horrific attempt to blame other people for your own bad feelings regarding a major human catastrophe which you watched on television.
joggernaut - very heavy runner
mudify - alter for the worse
Highhat | December 22, 2011 - 06:22
You have used your night very constructively Paul- these are very funny but I do think you should get enough sleep.. ha ha thanks for this and the laugh!
;)Pia
FTSE100 | December 22, 2011 - 06:43
Went to bed early and got up early, Pia. It makes a change to be able to do something so I'm making the most of it. I wrote a story too. I'll post it later.
Paul
lavadis | December 22, 2011 - 07:53
Very funny, as ever you have brightened up my day.
scratch | December 22, 2011 - 08:57
Sircumvent and embruce are my number one and two. Thanks for the smile FTSE100
FATSE100 Lard arsed, overindulged banking index.
maddan | December 22, 2011 - 09:25
Eddie Gibbons was banned!?
Kilb50 | December 22, 2011 - 09:28
I remember the excellent Eddie Gibbons. His poem "Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog Died" was a particular favourite!
RachelPatricia | December 22, 2011 - 10:36
Oh, do you know what you've started with this, FTSE?! I've been buggering-up words since I read this - the end results are not nearly half as good as any of these, though. This should be an IP one week, it really should.
Going looking for your latest story now - hope it's there. And can I just say, that to deliberately go out of your way to make others smile when you're not in the brightest of spirits is such a beautiful and rare quality - and how lucky are us lot here at ABC to get to enjoy and experience it. Cheers, FTSE - Merry Chrissymouse (as my dear old Gramps used to say) and a Happy Few Beers ;)
Rachel xx
MissTee | December 22, 2011 - 11:12
I like all of these and have seen a few list in the past. My favourite was 'Giraffiti' - graffiti written very high up!
Hope everyone has a fab Christmas.
Sarah x
FTSE100 | December 22, 2011 - 12:44
maddan - the account was blocked. It didn't contain any writing other than half a dozen forum posts. Maybe it was all something to do with ancient site upgrades - there's still a lot of junk lying around from earlier iterations of the site. I toss it in the skip whenever I find it. But nothing important has been lost. Damn it, I've even saved his best forum post!
tcook | December 22, 2011 - 14:45
Eddie was never banned! He came back again as hitchaiku although I haven't seen him around for a while.
He did want to remove everything from here - something to do with a publishing deal he had if I recall correctly - and so maybe he blocked himself!
He's a wonderful poet - one of the country's finest - and we loved having him on here.
Once - way back in the mists of time - we did an ABCtales show at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London with our writers mixed in with a host of established poets and writers - and Eddie flew down from Aberdeen to perform.
Ah, the history of ABCtales is long and varied!
maddan | December 22, 2011 - 15:20
I remember the Bloomsbury Theatre Show, I dragged a bunch of friends down to it and they were all dead impressed.
Stan | December 22, 2011 - 17:29
Great! Reminds me of Uxbridge English Dictionary, from 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'.
Thought of a few:
Willness - phantom malady, the symptoms of which become worse just prior to calling in sick.
Fictionary - book of false definitions.
Muletide - pagan equivalent of Christmass.
Memmaries - unforgettable breasts.
Faecebook - crap social networking site (or maybe that should be Facebook).
Sorry... I'll shut up now...