Dharma and Greg is a popular American television situation comedy
which can be seen in the U.K. most evenings on the Paramount Comedy
Channel at 7.30 (as of this writing October 2001).
On the surface there is nothing particularly special about this
program. It is based upon the age-old "clash of cultures " format. In
this case, Dharma is the free-spirited yoga-teaching daughter of ageing
hippy parents, and Greg is an uptight lawyer and the son of a wealthy
father and socialite mother. They met and married on the same day. The
setting is San Francisco and the ambiance is gentle and light-hearted.
The parents are portrayed as eccentric, sometimes goofy, frequently
narrow-minded in their respective ways, but essentially harmless and at
least trying to do the right thing.
In the American context, however, this little sitcom is breathtakingly
revolutionary for its depiction of unspeakable sexual practices.
Now that I have your attention, let me explain.
Dharma and Greg are married. They love each other. They are faithful to
each other. They frankly and openly express sexual desire for each
other and do something about it. Dharma in particular is very direct
about her sexual desire for Greg, and she expresses it in a playful,
healthy and often humorous way. She is portrayed as a decent, moral,
and sane (though a bit goofy) person. She does not use sex, or the
threat of withholding it, to get her way. Their sexual relationship is
a minor part of the program, but it is always present.
In the American context, these are indeed unspeakable sexual
practices.
The first time I watched an episode of Dharma and Greg I was stunned
and practically shocked speechless. A portrayal of healthy sexual
desire and activity within the context of a faithful and loving
marriage (or within any other context for that matter) is virtually
unheard of in America, especially when it is the woman who is doing the
expressing and taking the lead. I also thought, well maybe this is just
one episode and they're not all like this. Wrong! It was not an
aberration or "mistake" by the writers. The whole series is like this.
In other words, the writers have incorporated a healthy, passionate,
and playful sexual relationship within a loving and faithful marriage
into a long-running American television series.
This is revolutionary and liberating stuff. Even as I write, nearly one
year after my first exposure to Dharma and Greg, I am astonished that
such a thing ever made it into the public domain in America.
Here's why.
The Puritan tradition in American culture is amazingly strong. It
dominates the culture in ways that few Americans understand or would
even recognize if it were pointed out to them. In this context, women
can only be portrayed as having sexual desire for anyone, including a
spouse, if they are also portrayed as mentally disturbed, morally
bankrupt, out to get their way, and/or unsuccessful in translating
their desire into action. American movies and television are full of
images of unmarried couples, one-night stands, prostitutes,
gold-diggers, nymphomaniacs, and murderous psychotics. It would appear
that the only acceptable sexual relationship, or at least the only
relationship anyone understands, is one that does not involve
commitment, or that is a financial transaction at heart (with or
without an attempt to disguise this fact), or that is the visible
manifestation of some serious mental problem. In fact, the most common
sexual relationship, and the one almost universally used to portray
married couples, is one that involves no sex at all, just a lot of talk
about how it should be there but isn't. This later image of the sexless
relationship is highly pornographic in a perverse way and probably
accounts for the widespread American obsession with adult films and
lap-dancing, two forms of alienated faux intimacy in which essentially
nothing happens. These fictional portrayals very closely mirror actual
practices and the common experience of everyday people in
America.
The so-called women's movement in America has only magnified this
already ugly picture by injecting all manner of complex and
inconsistently applied legal strictures into the relationship between
men and women. In effect, it is illegal in America to behave in a
natural and human manner. That may not have been the objective, but it
has surely been the result. Intentionally or not, the women's movement
in America has institutionalised a form of "reverse prostitution" by
means of which women who effectively manipulate the system they have
created can reap rewards without providing a service in return.
This is not a pretty picture. In fact, it is a very ugly picture.
Still, Dharma and Greg got on the air and has remained a very popular
show for several years. Maybe this will one day prove to have been the
first shot across the bow of that ugly picture.
