My Dog is Not a B*ll*ck Coaster!


from the ABC set Poems and the Like

When you're sitting in my chair,
Be careful what's already there.
Don't rest your bits on my spaniel's head,
Because my dog is not a bullock coaster!

And when you feel like cooking bread,
Be careful what you cook instead.
Don't mistake the breadbin for a hutch,
Because my grill is not a rabbit toaster!

But hey! Don't feel paranoid.
I'll try not to be annoyed
When you reach into my gerbil's cage.
I'll try not to be consumed with rage.
When I sit down for my tea
And witness what's before me,
I'll try not to stand and scream out loud¦
My oven is not a rodent roaster!

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