mANNeAter

Subtle.
ankari x

impressed.

I agree with Ben. There have certainly been more gracefully made points.Good poem all the same.

meh tbh i'm about a subtle as a brick so... no difference form the norm =D

I thought it was about me and panicked. I thought this was one of your better poems purely because it has emotion and rhythm. Sabzwin xx

I obviously didn't take enough attention to the title. Yeah it's not clean, it is bitchy, but like he said, he's ventilating emotion. I've written a couple of snide poems but nobody has picked up on that yet? I don't think it's about revenge or intentions to upset her. At least I hope not. Regardless of the subject, the poem is good xx

I have to admit Jack, this is about as subtle as a florescent brick dangled in midair by a man with a megaphone yelling "bitchy poems over here, roll up roll up".

On the other hand it would be a good poem if not for the title and the obvious subject matter. Enjoy your revision, Bernie

Jack, although the poem is indeed full of emotion and rhythm (which is good), that's a SERIOUSLY bitter, snide and generally mean comment. To be honest it reminds me of bitchy school girls.
You seem to say it's Anna that hasn't gotten over the whole situation and that she is the one clinging on to whatever is left of the relationship and stirring things up, (to make a big deal) but...to me...this poem is evidence that it's YOU who is still bitter. It's YOU who wants to stir things up and hurt people's feelings, because lets be honest, thats all this poem is about. You've been a dick, basically. And it's not right.
And i know that Anna has done her fair share of stirring and bitching, and i'm defo not taking sides but...REALLY? Was this necessary? Indeed, it might not be any of my business, but it was MY friend, and i'm sick of the way that you have just taken this way to far.
And 'i have broke free of that affliction, to tell you of her wicked ways?' I'm sorry but, you broke up with her because you basically got bored and wanted someone new. Maybe your jealous that you had no effect on her life? Maybe it's the fact that she still isnt mourning over her loss (you) that pisses you off?
You broke up months ago Jack, and she doesn't care too much anymore. To be frank, she rarely even mentions it.
And 'Tearing at your heart strings'? Fuck off Jack, you broke her heart and she got over it, you need to get over yourself.
You've got Sabrina, and Anna is moving on with her life (with the people who love and want her, which i can assure you is many). The only thing we don't want is your prattish, immature behaviour.
If i've upset/angered/offended then i'm vaguely sorry, but someone needed to say something (whether it's right or wrong) about you.

P.s just read Sabrina's comment and realised that i sort of said same thing, not intentional.

i'd like to point out for the record i wrote this after she broke up with Duncan and that REALLY pissed me off i've never seen him in such a state so yh =P

Well, I can understand your anguish because your friend got hurt but who the hell do you think you are? When did you suddenly get the right to parade around...BULLYING people because of the choices they made in life? You're not God Jack AND why do you think that, after treating anna like...well...treating anna the way you did, that you suddenly have the right to have go at her for 'breaking' someones heart? Your a hyprocrite Jack! And a horrible one at that. When you broke up with Anna I didnt write a stupid poem about you did I? But I suppose it's your repulsively big Ego that makes you think that you're so high above everyone else you can do things like this, and get away with it.
You might be able to get away with it now Jack but trust me, if you're like this later in life, there will be people who won't be afraid to stand up to you and you might struggle to find people who are willing to tolerate such disgusting behaviour.
I can also tell you that it's not Anna people are starting to see through, it's you. And I am inclined to believe that the way you have acted towards Anna and Sabrina these past few months has pissed a few people off. So just step off your high horse and be a bit more courteous and humane, because even if through this poem you were 'sticking up for a friend', the real intention is that it was a prime chance for you to have a stab at Anna.
Ask yourself this; if it had been me or Gabby or any other girl who split up with Duncan, would you have written such a nasty poem to 'vent your feelings' and 'stick up for your friend'? I believe the answer to that question is no. The only reason you wrote this poem is because it was Anna (by coincidence), and for some peculiar reason you feel like you can bully her. So you took the opportunity that the break-up gave you to have a stab at her. So don't you DARE try and be all self-riteous by acting like the hero, sticking up for your friend. This poem was purely written for your own twisted intentions.
Does it make you feel powerful? Knowing that you can hurt someone like that? What the hell do you think you're achieving by hurting someone with such a horrible poem?
I have no idea jack, but just FUCK OFF. No-one cares what you think about Anna anymore okay? This strange bitter resentment that you have for her is just getting old now and it is getting on everyones nerves. You need to really get a life.

well they obviouysly do care, or else you wouldn't written such an essay expressing yourself would you. i'm on no highh-orse atm thank you ver much sarah... yes i made a mistake with Sabrina this week and i accept that... but the Anna things oh, you've got ONE SIDE of the story and that so happens to be hers, slightly bias would you not say. and yes if you or Gaby had treat Duncan or any other of my friend the way she did him then yes i probably would it wasn't right! And i'm not bullying her! bullying repetive this is a one off... and oand sarah... no-one else care... ok it's a little hyperbloic but aren't we all, its just words, get over it =P

The poem may be harsh towards this Anna girl, but poetry is about expressing emotion, annd no one has the right to stop people from writing how they feel. I'm not on any side.

Yaz

Then lets end it there, because this is starting to get ridiculous and I will stand corrected. =PP but words hurt okay? So just use a bit more...subtlty when expressing yourself.

Then lets end it there, because this is starting to get ridiculous and I will stand corrected. =PP but words hurt okay? So just use a bit more...subtlty when expressing yourself.