The Lord of Averages

Everybody knows the Lord of Averages. He's the one who makes sure that every head is matched, sooner or later, by a tail. Lord, I have a few questions for you.

Lord, suppose I throw twenty straight heads on a coin. Now you demand that the coin should start producing more tails until the tail debt is repaid. How do you do this, exactly? Suppose I melt down the coin, what then? Is the debt cancelled or is it transferred to somebody else's coin? If so, whose? Should they be told? If it's a referee's coin it could affect the outcome of any number of football matches.

My brother once told me that if you are lucky enough to win some money in a casino, you should walk out immediately and not return until the following day, at which time you can start gambling again with a clean sheet. Is your memory really so short, Lord? Also, do the rules demand that the winnings are made before midnight? Is darkness important or is it just the expiry of a set number of hours? If so, how many? Or must I wait until my good luck is cancelled out by somebody else's bad luck? Please explain.

Lord, why is it that although everybody knows about the law of averages, no statistician has ever heard of it and it isn't taught in schools? Are your PR people working hard enough? Are their efforts misdirected? Or don't you like statisticians and schoolchildren?

Lord, do you only pay attention to coins? Every leaf that falls from a tree has a smooth (heads) side and a veiny (tails) side. If too many leaves come down the same way up, do you organise a gust of wind to blow them into their proper positions? Or do you ignore leaves because, let's face it, if you neglect your duties here, nobody will be counting.

Lord, if I worship you, will that improve my luck?

Thank you for your time, Lord. Please leave your answers in the comments below.