Ode to Venus.

i
In the blue hew of your clear crystal eyes,
I am witness to the birth heaven's child;
For they hold a pure,unfettered resonance.
and in the flavour of your tender parted lips,
So sensual,and bountiful with honeyed sips,
My soul rests, with a heavy permanence.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
For You raise me up, on petalled parted wings,
Yet heavily set me down within shuddered swirls;
where crunched cyclones, of shattered air explode.
You then caress me, with virgin sighs sublime,
Yet with a smile of sheer roasted plum delight;
You cleave my bloated,crimson soul in two.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
with my nerves raw by well ridden desire;
I long to feel the touch of your iced hands.
So I can rest, with dreams free from barbed wire;
and dwell upon your trembling,sacred lands.
Oh how I loath That shy,inner, well paged self,
that guards with shards the reality of who I am.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
For it's with gentle relish that I recall;
Your coy smile upon that heated summer night.
And how gladly we wrapped ourselves so small;
Yet gladder still, so tender and so very tight.
where we wrestled,for a moment,lost amid a thrall;
Then buried ourselves,deep in sensual delight.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I recall shaded fragrant cinnamon threads;
That arose, full upon that glowing golden dawn.
While you slowly choose to allow my hands drawn,
To rest;upon your tender-scented undressed nest.
That, with my slender keys,I then unlocked,
To then digest your heady sacred dampness.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I recall myself slowly begin to rise redefined;
Tender and eager to reach within your sanctum.
Where sated souls do seldom rest, yet still find
the joy known to all, as contentment’s castle.
And I, like a glorious servant to Cleopatra,
feel near enthroned, by your healing passion.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
For in your gentle caress heaven is revealed;
and in your kiss I know the dove does freed.
For my love I know above my weighted shield,
There rests a joy with delight and then sigh,
As rippled waves from within you are released.
Freeing this soul from chains that blind and bind.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
But now as we meet on these aged steady streets,
Our eyes slowly wrestle yet never seem to nestle;
And our words wanly from our now,silent lips.
Yet… there rests the hint of a ready hope...
That perhaps those promises we had so vainly made
Could possibly just as easily- be broke?

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Comments

alphadog1 | October 16, 2011 - 16:37

this has become a labour of love. But isn't that really what love is?

alphadog1 | October 16, 2011 - 16:37

this has become a labour of love. But isn't that really what love is?

alphadog1 | October 16, 2011 - 23:21

no... still not right. :ZZZZ

RachelPatricia | October 17, 2011 - 13:31

This is beautiful, alphadog1 - some stunning lines in here that really caught me. Needs a bit of a tinker-with still, if you don't mind me saying? Or pointing them out? For me, it all flows perfectly until the end of the third stanza - the repetition of the word 'release' doesn't work and in the opening lines of the fourth you use 'slow steady'. which again felt a little repetetive as it had been used towards the end of the third. The rest of the final stanza needs a little editing here and there, but on a whole I thought this was a truly wonderful read and you can tell you've put your heart and soul into this, so I really hope my comments haven't naffed you off. Very much enjoyed - your muse should be proud ;)

Rachel xx

alphadog1 | October 17, 2011 - 16:39

Thanks for the encouragement. I am playing with this, as you can see, and yeah I have been for months... its almost there, Version four should read version 4,444... lol... But But I am feeling I am getting the better of the beast. its been hard to get iambic pentameter for this one... and yeah, any advice suits me fine

alphadog1 | October 17, 2011 - 16:41

also the internet here is sssslllooowwww vvveeerrrrryyyyy sssssslllloooowwww so I won't get a reply from you in an age, and if I do send one it might be months before you receive it. :)

alphadog1 | October 17, 2011 - 16:41

also the internet here is sssslllooowwww vvveeerrrrryyyyy sssssslllloooowwww so I won't get a reply from you in an age, and if I do send one it might be months before you receive it. :)