the KWEStY_ON_AIRe scene in Crap's Last CD

Questionnaire:

Hallo, is that you? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

d.

Good, I thought it was. Now, do you think we should be having this conversation? Same as before.

Same as before.

Good, that's honest at least. Were you aware that I wanted to speak to you? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

b and d.

Same as before?

No before there was no b – then, on that, I was more iffy.

Are you taking my problems with us seriously? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, …

Yes, I know. a.

Are you sure? Same as before.

c and d.

Are you taking this conversation seriously? Same as before.

b.

Why not? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

a.

You're not taking this seriously because you can't give a yes/no answer to a non-yes/no question.

a.

What does that mean?

I'm agreeing with you. You can't give a yes/no thing to a non-yes/no thing.

Okay, so, do you love me?

a,b,c,d.

Now you're being silly. Are you? Same as before.

Same as before.

Which same as before?

a.

Are you answering the silly question or the love question?

c.

You're not taking this seriously still because you can't give a maybe-type answer to a non-yes/no question.

Sorry. Do you think we could meet for tea and have sex instead? Same as before.

c and d.

So that's a yes, then?

b.

So, is it a b with a c and d, rather than an a with a c and a d?

c. Do you think it's right to pressure someone in this way? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

a and b. Don't you?

Don't I what? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

Is this just a trick? This thing of giving me yes/no options for a non-yes/no question. Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

Are you just trying to avoid having a proper in-depth discussion of us? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

Are you prepared to answer my question before expecting me to answer yours? Answer (a) for yes, (b) for no, (c) for maybe, and (d ) = possibly.

d.