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November 6th

Posted by ankari on January 3, 2010 - 22:03
from the ABC set Poetry

I sit waiting in the park at dusk
And the spotlight is on me now.
Darkness pools around, around the edges
Leaving a hollow chasm of light at my feet

Palms upturned I stand, rooted in concrete
With distant arms straining for the sky
I wait for the rain.

I was once deaf and now I can't hear.

I close my eyelids, feel them glide and the wind caress
My head aches; my heart breaks; shivers shake me
I wait for the rain.

I was once blind and now I can't see.

White noise traffic dribbles a backdrop.
Months on and droplets form, but only upon my cheeks.
Storm clouds still gather.

I am crucified at a date that meant nothing
This year and last.
Today, expectant, I wait for the rain.

I was once ignorant. Now I just don't know

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

ankari | January 5, 2010 - 17:37

thank you SO MUCH for the cherry :D it means a lot to me!
ankari x

sabzwin | January 5, 2010 - 21:16

Wow :)
I get this - it totally works
Sabzwin xx

Nathan Bednarek | January 6, 2010 - 16:55

A brilliant poem and a well deserved cherry. This poem is beautifully crafted and the tone/atmosphere is very powerful. The last line is a spit'n'polish finish. A big well done from me.

Nathan.

ankari | January 6, 2010 - 18:55

thank you both :)
And the feedback is gladly welcomed Nathan, especially when it's so positive :D
ankari xxx

Dynamaso | January 8, 2010 - 00:01

One of the things I like about ABCTales is finding gems such as this.

ankari | January 9, 2010 - 18:22

thank you so much :)
ankari x

InspiredWriter | May 10, 2010 - 18:07

This is such a beautiful piece of writing. It's a very special thing, to be able to write like this. You have amazing skill (:

InspiredWriterx

(Note the name inspired writer, you are the inspiration for people like me)

Beeme | May 10, 2010 - 19:11

An incredibly beautiful piece of writing, intelligent and poignant I enjoyed greatly :) Thank you for sharing such a lovely poem, love the last lines-a perfect ending in my opinion.

Beeme xx

ankari | May 18, 2010 - 19:32

thank you both. so much!
ankari x

InspiredWriter | May 20, 2010 - 19:25

I honestly cannot stop reading this.... It's really stunned me, i love it so much. Im addicted to your poetry, WRITE MORE! You're amazing at this. (:

InspiredWriterx