Charity, Direct Debits, The White Stripes

Is there anything worse than spotting a flock of charity clipboarders in the street, then ducking off to the side to avoid them, only to have one jump out from around the corner by H. Samuel? You look at her and she’s all beautiful like a swan. She says ‘I’m not going to hassle you to sign up. I just want someone to talk to. I’m so bored.’ So you talk to her for a bit and it turns out that you both really like the White Stripes. As you start to walk away she mentions that she has a spare ticket to a White Stripes concert that evening. Even though you wouldn’t normally accept this kind of invitation from a stranger you say yes, because it’s sold out and you really want to go. It’s a great concert, followed by some great walking home with her. You don’t sleep with her, but you agree to go out again. Fast forward six months and you’re living together. Skip another ten years and you’re married with two kids. You’re sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee and reading your mail – a brochure for Center Parcs and your bank statement. According to the bank statement, £2 was taken out by direct debit to something called Help The Aged, a charity you’ve always been against. You go to confront your wife about this, but she isn’t in the living room and she isn’t in the bedroom. The wardrobe is half empty and her wedding ring on the bedside table. It’s the long con and you can’t believe you fell for it. To make matters worse you don’t even cancel the direct debit, because apart from the ring and two children, that’s all you have left of her.