You examine her teenage mind-
she prefers a quicker pace to love,
so unlike you.
You try to charm her with your eyes
forgetting that you taught them to
smile at me,not her.
You kiss her but her eyes don't close
forgetting that it was you and I
who shared those moments.
You tame her with your cheeky smile
forgetting that the perfect curve has
etched at one end my initials and
at the other, yours.
You try to hide it,
the floral perfume laying on
your shirt,my trade mark scent.
Your words deny me,
forgetting that for every part
of you there is at least two parts me.
Comments
Cavalcaderl | November 30, 2009 - 23:45
new Beeme
This is great verse;
I lik it all is;
Your words deny me,
forgetting that for every part
of you there is at least two
parts me.
very good.
sorry spacing wrong here
larger print.nite!
julie xx
MistakenMagic | December 1, 2009 - 14:53
'forgetting that the perfect curve has
etched at one end my initials and
at the other, yours.'
- just love, love, love this image and the last lines are wonderful! One of my favourites of yours Beeme!
Magic xxx
tcook | December 1, 2009 - 16:57
I like this - it is getting good - but I don't understand this stanza:
You try to charm her with your eyes,
forgetting that they only smile at me,
That they have spent years reading me.
You look at yourself with your own eyes? Are they on stalks? It just seems odd.
Beeme | December 1, 2009 - 17:38
Thankyou Magic and Juile I'm glad you enjoyed. Thankyou Tony for your comment, I have edited the poem-I hope it makes more sense.
Beeme xx
tcook | December 1, 2009 - 17:47
Yes - got it now - and it's a lot better.
MistakenMagic | December 1, 2009 - 17:52
So thrilled this got a cherry Beeme ;) Well done!
Magic xxx
Beeme | December 1, 2009 - 17:52
Thankyou for the advise, Tony , glad it makes sense now. Thankyou for the cherry abctales!
Beeme xx
Beeme | December 1, 2009 - 17:52
Thankyou Magic XXX
Nathan Bednarek | December 1, 2009 - 22:58
Wow. Another beautiful poem Beeme. You're on a roll lately ;-D
The last stanza is just a spit'n'polish finish. A big well done.
Nathan x
Beeme | December 2, 2009 - 07:48
Wow, thankyou so much Nathan for such a complimentary comment, I'm glad you enjoyed :-)
Beeme xx
Cavalcaderl | December 2, 2009 - 23:53
new Beeme
Love it all, great1
just seen rosey Cherry!
sorry bit late.
well done.verse;
You tame her with your cheeky smile
forgetting that the perfect curve has
etched at one end of my initials and
at the other, yours.
beautiful
julie x cavalcader (:-
Beeme | December 3, 2009 - 17:55
Thankyou so much Julie ;)
Beeme xx
SundaysChild | December 3, 2009 - 20:09
Great poem Beeme! xx
Beeme | December 3, 2009 - 21:00
Thankyou SundaysChild, i'm so glad you enjoyed. Nice to hear from you x
Beeme xx