Insanity arrives

I liked this.

Thankyou Celticman, I'm very please you enjoyed.

Beeme xx

'Because I don't know you and I wear
age-old jeans with a baggy jumper-
holes in the end of each arm, which
my fingers trace to remind myself that
I am still holding onto a tread of hope.'

- love these lines Beeme. You can really feel the narrator's frustration. Well done ;)

Magic xxx

I really like this too, Beeme...as Magic says, the narrators frustration really comes through.

Only a minor point in that I think in line 12 of the last stanza you probably mean 'thread' and and not 'tread'.

The repetition works very well throughout and helps to punch home the narrator's message.

Tina xx

Thankyou Magic, I'm very happy you enjoyed. I think they're my favourite lines too : )

Beeme xx

Thanks for the pointer Tina, I corrected it :) I'm glad you enjoyed and that the repetition works.

Beeme xx

hello,let me say i like that but in my opinion you should apply more abstract and visual imageries in your poem.

You're getting somewhere. Persistence and determination!

oh sorry man i just say my opinion,i hope u understand.

:-)

Powerful stuff. Re Ramin's point, personally I think that imagery might have got in the way of this one and it's better without it. What you are trying to express I think is best done (as you do) using very concrete language. It keeps it edgy and uncomfortable, and very effective. The repetitions work very well, also.

Rob

new Beeme
This is great,I like all
of it,suspense in it,and "Do
I Really Know You"? Sometimes
we don't always,truly know person
what we are with?
Hope your weel.Last stanza best?for me
I know evryword you have typed,and through
experiences and Marriage,years,understand now
all go ou with each other,is ok.A matter of opinion
And how a lot go out as friend's each other.Times changed..
julie xx

Your continued support means alot nolan and thankyou rahim for your advise your imagery is amazing, i take both of your comments on board. Beeme xx

Thankyou julie, your comment is very true as always. I'm glad you enjoyed. Beeme xx

Beeme are you Ok? I was worried about you you're so quiet. Insanity is no laughing matter.

Hello Nolan, there's no need to be worried about me, although it's very kind of you. I'm ok thank you, this poem is purely fictional. Hope your well.

Beeme xx

I'm fine thanks. Glad to hear you're well. As for the poem itself I won't comment.
It is a pleasure I enjoy your poetry Beeme!
Cheers. Nolan

I'm glad you're ok Nolan, I enjoy your poems too.

Beeme xx

I think you have a flair for this; keep it up
;)

Thank you so much Darkenwolf! :)

Beeme xx