You say “Write me a poem about the early morning
sunset” I smile. “Just look out of the window, you'll see it ”
I look at the sky glowing red. I love you.
You turn your head to the side.
When was the last time you looked at me?
I tip my head back, weighing up my options. To love
someone who will never love you back. Is it worth it?
The next night as you breathe quickly in your sleep,
on the dressing table your half-smoked cigarettes
look posh, don't ask me why. I can't explain. I imagine
the rest of your life. With or without me?
The next day you left me. How thoughtful to make
my mind up for me, you always were very good at
doing that. It's what my friends are thinking, that I
have had a lucky escape. That I hold onto.
Because growing old with you would have been
haunted by crossroads of good and bad decisions.
Your coffee scented smile would have closed down
my capacity to love anything or anyone, before long.
I thought of the day when you will read this poem.
And you won't have to move
because everything will be there in front of you.
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | December 20, 2009 - 15:04
Another one from the heart, Beeme...at least that's the way it sounds. (just a tiny typo, third stanza. Should be 'breathe'.
Very much like the lines:-
'...your half-smoked cigarettes
look posh, don't ask me why. I can't explain.'
For me, the poem worked well, Beeme.
Tina xx
Beeme | December 20, 2009 - 15:10
Thankyou Tina, changed the typo. I'm glad you enjoyed :-)
Beeme xx
Cavalcaderl | December 22, 2009 - 10:06
new Beeme
Well done! on the cherry
that was quick was it.This
is well written and expressed!
Hope Iv'e put right, word.
We here been stuck in even
to step on dangerous
road small like an ice rink
no gritter's but neighbour's and couple's
stuck night before,and one visiting hospital. have been out heavy shovel's must been 6 hours working and brooms next day bless their heart's and some young, so could move car's and all try and get across road a pathway and tell me where to tread.I had turn back from corner here paper shop and all.So icey Ray went down
just walking in town.OK. I couldn,t get day
carol's centre,but all washed away to-day.
Happy Christmas what ever you do.And keep writing up.
thankyou for your help to.
julie x
MistakenMagic | December 22, 2009 - 11:39
Well done on the cherry Beeme! I'm just in love with your poetry at the moment - their subject matter really speaks to me, and I have read and re-read all your recent ones over and over again ;)
Magic xxx
Beeme | December 22, 2009 - 13:20
The snow is bad where I live aswell Julie, glad to hear that the snow has washed away today. I'm glad you enjoyed :-) Merry Christmas have fun to and keep writing. I haven't helped you nearly enough as you have me.
Love Beeme xx
Beeme | December 22, 2009 - 13:23
Thankyou so much Magic, your comment is brilliant! I'm so glad you are enjoying my work so much :-)
Beeme xx
Nathan Bednarek | December 22, 2009 - 14:38
'The next day you left me. How thoughtful to make
my mind up for me, you always were very good at
doing that. It's what my friends are thinking, that I
have had a lucky escape. That I hold onto.'
I love this stanza and the last one is a spit'n'polish finish. Another wonderful poem showing just how good a writer you are. This one deserves a whole bunch of cherries in my humble opinion. A big well done.
Nathan x
Beeme | December 22, 2009 - 14:45
Thankyou so very much Nathan. A whole bunch of cherries, that would be fab! ;-) Your comments always make me smile, I can't thankyou enough for that.
Beeme xx
threeleafshamrock | December 28, 2009 - 12:35
Excellent, bitter-sweet that keeps the reader interested from beginning to end.
Beeme | December 28, 2009 - 21:09
Thankyou Chris, glad you enjoyed.
Beeme xx
ankari | January 3, 2010 - 20:13
"To love
someone who will never love you back. Is it worth it?"
brilliant :) and just the right length as well
ankari x
Beeme | January 4, 2010 - 18:00
Thankyou so much ankari xx