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One Day

Posted by Beeme on July 26, 2011 - 14:21

One day
you’ll find that
polaroid shot of us.
You’ll notice the faint;
ghost-like, tyre tracked
skin, belonging to me.
Marvel and ponder at
how bodies are left behind.
You’ll study the curve
of my neck, which could
have been pristine porcelain,
but was damaged by your
contact.

You’ll trace the
microscopic love-bites
your trade mark lips
left- follow the
purple-pink bruises,
moth shaped leaping
from your angry, love
drunk hands, threatening
to contain their delicate wings.
You’ll see-
the weight of your love
tattooed across my skin.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

fatboy74 | July 26, 2011 - 19:56

Really, really good. :-)

cormacru999 | July 26, 2011 - 23:27

I love the last two lines. so good.

adora | July 27, 2011 - 13:51

I have to agree, very good indeed!

Beeme | July 27, 2011 - 20:31

Thanks so much fatboy, Cormacru999 and adora. Much appreciated :) Thank you very much for my recent cherries abctales!

Beeme xx

barryj1 | July 28, 2011 - 16:38

This is a frightfully clever poem. If Fatboy says it's good then it's probably spectacularly good, since he knows a thing or two about verse.
You offered up a novella-worth of detail in this self-contained gem - a whole life story and you did it through understatement. What you meticulously omitted is as important as what you shared with the reader.

This poem is truly something special!

MistakenMagic | July 28, 2011 - 18:25

Truly haunting, Beeme. Well done on a successful reworking!

Magic xxx

Beeme | July 28, 2011 - 21:25

oh wow thank you so much barry, your comment is far too kind but I think it's the nicest comment I've ever recieved about my work. I'm really happy my poem conveyed so much to you. Thanks Magic, happy you like the re-working.

Beeme xx

barryj1 | July 28, 2011 - 21:31

There's one thing more. I have no idea how old you are (not that it really matters), but if you have any recollection of the heady psychodelic sixties when everyone read and treasured poetry, a poem this good would probably have been picked up by some publisher five minutes after it hit the street and anthologized.

Now I'm totally through.

Beeme | July 30, 2011 - 11:32

aha thanks for coming back and being even more complemetary,I can't thank you enough. Funnily enough I never sent this poem to a magazine because I didn't know if it was good enough- perhaps I should have.

Beeme xx

barryj1 | July 30, 2011 - 11:59

Rest assured. It's good enough.

awsamy | July 31, 2011 - 10:46

-

Beeme | July 31, 2011 - 10:48

Thank you so much Barry :)

Beeme xx