For years I watched the lights beneath his flesh,
flash and dissolve, took his pulse to be a sign
“that people are fighters.”
His breath against my ear, drew my body close
but my affection was born along a fault line
spreading the width of my papa’s silhouette.
I taught my hands to hold back the ripples of fear,
don’t let them see the images behind our eyes.
My mother brought bandages and wasted light
wrapping my arms until I could no longer be touched.
But mostly I remember the scent which clung to his shirt,
and sometimes I’d remember how to love.
I’d reach out my tiny arms and wait for someone to pick me up.
But lately I’ve been thinking back and darkness outlines
my face, that day when the light of your smile exploded.
I was left with a birth mark, the face of another father.
I’d kept close to my chest for the first two years of my life.
Comments
seashore | December 4, 2011 - 22:24
You get better and better. I usually read your work though I don't always comment but it's so interesting watching how your work is evolving.
this one is very enigmatic and very good.x
Beeme | December 4, 2011 - 22:40
wow, thank you very much Seashore. I'm so happy you think I'm improving and enjoy my work :)
Beeme x
Highhat | December 5, 2011 - 19:47
It wasn’t his bones that disturbed me,
but for years I watched the lights beneath his flesh.
Flash and dissolve, took his pulse to be a sign
“that people are fighters.”
If you don't mind Beeme, I'd like to suggest something: drop the first line and begin the poem with "For years..."
put a comma after "flesh"
just my humble opinion...
a good one again Beeme.
;)Pia
Highhat | December 6, 2011 - 06:19
Oops Beeme- you seem to have lost some lines. Hope you can sort it out because this certainly deserves to be read by many...
atb
Pia
Ps I think the first stanza works much better now... well done
Beeme | December 6, 2011 - 20:37
They're back now Pia, like Magic. I'm really happy you liked this :)
Beeme xx
fatboy74 | December 6, 2011 - 20:49
Wonderful. :-)
Beeme | December 6, 2011 - 20:51
Thank you very much Fatboy! Thank you for the cherry eds :)
Beeme xx
MistakenMagic | December 6, 2011 - 22:40
I love the interplay of light and darkness in this one, BeemE. I call my dad "papa" when I want something - a thing I picked up from my French cousins when I was younger ;-) Well done on the cherry!
Magic xxx
rjnewlyn | December 6, 2011 - 22:42
This is excellent - a very effective hybrid between prose and poetry. Definitely one of your best.
Rob
Dynamaso | December 6, 2011 - 23:09
I really like the first stanza but the whole piece is powerful and considered. Congrats on the cherry.
Beeme | December 7, 2011 - 06:57
Thank you very much for reading and leaving such enouraging and kind comments Magic, Rob and Dynamaso. Really happy you enjoyed this one :-)
Beeme x
shyrewode | December 15, 2011 - 18:46
Very powerful writing. Excellent.