When I was young and
I stood, starring into
the blackness, out
across the horizon.
You'd take my hands,
and whisper that the sun,
was missing the
warmth of my smile.
You would ignore,
that I could not see the
sunset, or the pier in
the distance; standing
like a beacon of humanity
in front of us. After all,
I had lost my sight.
I found myself, so disconnected.
Crying into mirrors, breaking
down, into a million pieces.
As I become, unrecognisable.
I murdered any light,
comforting myself with my
nocturnal pain.
Stuck inside my own prison,
rotting within the cells of
my mind; which faded into
darkness.
You held, onto the remainder
of myself, which was still fighting.
Laying in awe, my body ached
for comfort. I saw, through the
ajar door, my first sunset in years,
creeping onto the horizon. A blue,
yellow and violet pastel dawn arriving
with haste and the unmistakable
warmth of my spirit return.
Comments
insertponceyfre... | August 23, 2010 - 06:40
beeme I think this poem is one of your best. It has some really strong images
In the first stanza, I'm not sure if you can crave to see something -I think you have to crave the sight of something. Not sure how you can make that fit in your plan of things, but it does grate a little when I read it as it is
shoe | August 23, 2010 - 07:59
Beautiful, powerful images, really like this.
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 08:05
Thank you very much Insert. I'm glad you enjoyed. I understand, your quite right. Is that better?
Beeme xx
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 08:08
Thank you so much Shoe! I'm very glad you enjoyed :) Your encouraging comment means alot.
Beeme xx
Highhat | August 23, 2010 - 08:41
So much pain and then the light. Beautiful.
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 08:45
Thank you very much Highhat! I'm so glad you enjoyed this so much :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 09:29
Thank you for the cherry abctales :)
Beeme xx
MistakenMagic | August 23, 2010 - 12:04
Well done on the cherry, Beeme! Richly deserved ;) I love the imagery of the final stanza!
Magic xxx
Cavalcaderl | August 23, 2010 - 12:06
new Beeme
Hi! well deserved cherry!
Loved. all the word's of
emotion and colour's
especially how the last stanza.
Ended all the pain, and you came
back into the light. Beautiful
Sometimnes we have to do that suffer
in pain, until we see the light!
great poem.
Julie xx
Nolan | August 23, 2010 - 12:28
Beeme! It's Ok I guess. The last two lines are very good. Your poem ends in a triumphant spirit. It’s also very clear that you have a choice of attitude no matter what circumstances are, and that in effect you’ve chosen to be happy.
Cheers! Nolan
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 12:35
Thank you Magic, I'm glad you enjoyed. I think the last stanza is my favourite :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 12:45
Thank you very much Julie! I'm glad you enjoyed :)
Beeme xx
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 12:47
Thank you Nolan, I did indeed decide to be happy. I'm glad you enjoyed :)
Beeme xx
Nolan | August 23, 2010 - 13:49
Jolly good!
Beeme | August 23, 2010 - 13:55
:)
Lennie | August 23, 2010 - 23:01
Beeme well done for the cherry it is well deserved!
This is a really strong poem with very powerful emotions all the way through, well done again!
Lennie xx
Beeme | August 24, 2010 - 08:01
Thank you Lennie, I'm really glad you enjoyed, :) Thanks for taking the time to read ;)
Beeme xx
Cavalcaderl | August 24, 2010 - 23:41
new Beeme
Well deserved cherry!
Full of facts and emotions,
then end come up smiling and
be happy, good. Always time to
read your's too.
have a good week-end
julie xx
Beeme | August 25, 2010 - 18:10
Thank you Julie! :)
Beeme xx
Nathan Bednarek | September 3, 2010 - 17:26
Your best by a mile, dear Beeme. The poem talks of darkness, yet the light doesn't fail to shine through the lines. A beautiful poem that manages to cover over the feeling of loss with a veil of hope. A triumph.
'Well done' just doesn't do it here... ;-)
Nathan x
Beeme | September 5, 2010 - 20:53
Thank you so much Nathan! Its really nice to hear from you again. I hope your well :)
Beeme xx