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Posted by Beeme on May 22, 2011 - 18:11

If I asked you to describe my childhood what would you say? Happy, confused, a tiring battle of right and wrongs? What would you see? Mother? Father?; Namir? (You know better than most.)

Shadows lurch from the walls as an image of your face, the smudged, half -familiar curves of your silhouette. They glide across the air like the opening of angels wings emerging from the darkness. But nothing shakes me from the pain, I cannot wake. I've spent too long a figure of resentment; the target of misguided heartache. Within this room I've lived my whole life, memorized the lapping current of the curtains like the tides. When they're raised I am free to roam; when they are anchored, I am too. Each corner of this room is the beginning of a parallel problem; I cannot live with you and you cannot live without me.

The only straight line is the sunset, smiling as the light travels up.

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | May 22, 2011 - 18:26

An interesting piece, Beeme, in which you use effective and original imagery.

I particularly like this line:

"They glide across the air like the opening of angels' wings emerging from the darkness."

Atmospheric and compelling;-)

Tina xx

Beeme | May 22, 2011 - 20:03

Thank you so very much Tina! I'm very happy you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx

Highhat | May 22, 2011 - 21:03

You have your usual darkness in this piece as well. I liked it very much.

;)Pia

maisie | May 22, 2011 - 23:01

its a bit like a paragraph poem. some lively poetical themes going on and very nicely written.

do you really wish to write prose?

MistakenMagic | May 23, 2011 - 08:30

"Within this room I've lived my whole life, memorized the lapping current of the curtains like the tides." - what a beautiful image! Really love your prosetry stuff, Beeme - keep it coming!

Magic xxx

seashore | May 23, 2011 - 09:40

I think agree with Tina - really interesting read and in a very good way.

shoe | May 23, 2011 - 09:51

Some really lovely imagery, I think it improves as it goes on and the last few lines are superb.

Beeme | May 23, 2011 - 20:39

Thank you all very much for your lovely comments xxx

fatboy74 | May 23, 2011 - 21:14

I like this a lot Beeme, it's kinda poetry - certainly poetic and has some lovely detail. :-)

rjnewlyn | May 26, 2011 - 21:55

Very good - particularly the last line.

Rob

Beeme | May 30, 2011 - 21:29

Thank you very much Fatboy and Rob. Much appreciated.

Beeme xx