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Wild-men

Posted by Beeme on March 5, 2011 - 15:00

Wild men
built like horses,
ride along
the black fist of
a morning horizon.
Veiled; all in rags,
pulling at the scraps
of civilisation.
Rising...
like a soul,
broken from a body.
Laughing...
at the empty skulls,
circling the clouds
looking for heaven.

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | March 5, 2011 - 15:52

Nice one, Beeme and I like the line breaks. 'Laughing...' works well, likewise, 'Rising...' would give it even more impact. I.e.

'Rising...
like a soul,
broken from a body'.

What do you think?

Tina xx

Highhat | March 5, 2011 - 17:20

Great poem Beeme
;)Pia

Beeme | March 5, 2011 - 17:21

Thanks very much, yeah I think that works very nicely :)

Beeme xx

Silver Spun Sand | March 5, 2011 - 17:23

It does, Beeme, it does;-)Tina xx

Beeme | March 5, 2011 - 17:23

Thank you very much Pia xx

Beeme | March 5, 2011 - 17:24

:) xx

shoe | March 6, 2011 - 11:28

Really like this one, makes me think of the war torn parts of the world for some reason, strong stuff.

Beeme | March 6, 2011 - 15:58

Thank you very much Shoe :) Really happy you enjoyed xx

ScoZen | March 6, 2011 - 20:00

ScoZen

Hello little beeme, enjoyed.

"...all in rags,pulling at the scraps..."

That's me on a good day!

Beeme | March 6, 2011 - 20:07

:) aha, thanks ScoZen. Really happy you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx

fatboy74 | March 6, 2011 - 20:19

Black fist of a morning horizon - wow that's a metaphor. Very much enjoyed this one Beeme.

Beeme | March 6, 2011 - 20:21

Thanks very much Fatboy :]

Beeme xx