ANGEL IN MY BED


from the ABC set ROMANTICALLY INCLINED TALES - PASSION

There is an angel in my bed
Asleep beneath the sheets
Her angelic countenance
Exuding heavenly serenity
But I can safely say
The angel that I can see
Asleep beneath the sheets
The angel lying in my bed
After what we did before
Is not an angel anymore

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Comments

Nolan | May 12, 2011 - 19:03

I've got a teddy bear and he's still a teddy bear.

Biggus | May 12, 2011 - 21:14

I'm pleased to hear that, I'm sure there are laws about abusing teddy Bears

maisie | May 13, 2011 - 07:11

i like this so much I've decided to do my own edit on it! you'll possibly hate me - or !

"There is an angel in my bed
Asleep beneath the sheets
Her angelic countenance
.
could try
excludes......
Exuding heavenly serenity
#
could try taking away the horrible little 'but'
But I can safely say
The angel that I can see
Asleep beneath the sheets
.
could lose the ing - takes it out of the past
makes it immediate!
The angel lying in my bed
.
could try something else between After....before
After what we did before
Is not an angel anymore"

Biggus | May 13, 2011 - 11:37

Thanks Maisie,I would have to take exception to you remark about "the horrible little 'but'"
I likle butts

Paul