BRUNO

A young man called Samuel goes off to university
But halfway through the year he faces a catastrophe
his parents gave him money and now he hasn't any
He squandered it all on booze spending every penny
In six months the only thing he's managed to learn
Is how you can get both ends of the candle to burn
Uneasy as heavily on his mind the problem weighed
He thought long and hard about how he may persuade
His long suffering parents to bail out their poor lad
Finally he got an idea and he quickly phoned his dad
"Dad, you will never believe what I found out today?"
"A team of scientists can teach a dog to talk they say"
"If we can get him in they could teach Bruno to talk!"
"Just imagine how much people would pay to gaw"
Bruno was the family pet and was good for nothing
His dad said "Well son that's absolutely amazing!"
"We could make an absolute fortune out of this Sam"
"How do we make sure Bruno gets in the program?"
"Just send him down here with a thousand pounds"
Sam said "and then I'll smuggle him into the grounds"
"I'll have to use the money to get Bruno selected in"
So his Dad complies thinking he just can't fail to win
Three months later sees young Samuel still at university
But the money has all gone and he faces a catastrophe
So Sam thinks its time to call his good old Dad again
"So how's Bruno doing Sam?" Dad wants to ascertain
"Fantastic he's talking his head off its really great Dad"
He said "but you won't believe what they want to add"
He'd come up with a plan to exploit his fathers greed
"they now have a course that will teach Bruno to read!"
"Read!" said his father, "That's amazing! What do I do"?
"To get him into that program? What should I send you?"
"Just send me two thousand five hundred quid I think"
"And I'll get him in the class before you can even blink"
So his dad sends the cash thinking its money well spent
Sam would say that it was thought not how dad meant
When he got home at the end of the year Sam knew
That his father would find out that he'd been lied to
His dad would find out that Bruno couldn't talk or read
So Sam shot Bruno while he was tied up by his lead
"Where's Bruno? his dad asked at home excitedly
"Dad I have some really bad news" Sam said solemnly.
"This morning when I got out of the bath, I saw Bruno
Lying on the sofa reading as he usually does you know"
He was more thoughtful than normal quite honestly
And then he suddenly turned around and he asked me
"Is your dad still shagging that little red haired bit?"
Dad responded "I hope you shot that lying sack of shit!"