COMPLAINTS TO THE LANDLORD

This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
You may doubt it and you may even scoff
"I want some repairs done to my cooker
As it has backfired and burnt my knob off
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up or at least weird
"I wish to complain that the toilet is blocked
And we can't bath the children until it's cleared
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don't believe it then that's hard cheese
"Could you send a man with the right tool
To finish the job and satisfy my wife please
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
With this you may find your belief decreases
"I wish to report our lavatory seat has been
Broken in half and is now in three pieces
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
You may doubt it but I will let you gauge
"My poor father hurt his ankle badly when
He put his foot in the hole in his back passage
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up you may think
"Will you please send a man to look at my
Water it's a funny color and not fit to drink
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don't believe it don't bother "bitchin
"As per our agreement I request permission
Formally to remove my draws in the kitchen
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This one sounds doubtful that I must admit
"Our floor's damp and we've two small kids
We'd like a third so send someone to do it
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that's ok I won't take offence
"I am writing about their eighteen year old son
Who's always banging his balls against my fence
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up that I must admit
"My bush is really overgrown round the front
And my back passage now has fungus on it
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don't believe it don't complain at all
"I am writing to you on behalf of my sink
Which is coming away from the wall
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you're doubtful then that's not unhealthy
"Half of the walls have crumbling plaster
Half are damp and the rest are just plain filthy
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that's ok I won't make a fuss
"The man next door has a large erection in
His garden which is unsightly and dangerous
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up that I will assent
"Please send someone to mend the garden path
My wife tripped and now she is pregnant
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don't believe it then simply disagree
"Every morning the farmers cock wakes me
Up and it's now getting to much for me
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If your think it far fetched then that's alright
"I live alone in a ground floor flat and bothered
By the noise from the man on top of me at night
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that's ok then just ignore
"Please he's got this huge tool that vibrates
The whole house and I just can't take it anymore
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up but just a fraction
"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor
Six times but I still have had no satisfaction
This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don't believe it then well that's alright
"Tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof
I think it was the bad wind the other night
If the above are actual complaints to landlords
And we no reason to question there validity
Is the reason poor literacy or typing errors?
More likely it's due to "Care in the community