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DIFFERENT STROKES

Posted by Biggus on May 11, 2009 - 09:29
from the ABC set ROMANTICALLY INCLINED TALES - BAD LOVE

We are poles apart
You are north to my south
We are different ends of the solar system
You are Mercury I am Pluto
We are contradictory
You are black to my white
We are from different ends of the earth
We inhabit different hemispheres
You are up and I am down
We should be knife and fork
Brush and paint
Cup and saucer
Pepper and salt
But we are not
How did we become man and wife?

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Comments

SundaysChild | May 11, 2009 - 17:58

I think this is very clever- and amusing.
Just one thing, I personally found that:
'How did we become man and wife?' did not keep to the rest of the poem's fluidity.
I found it very enjoyable, but the last line slightly unsatisfying.

Biggus | May 12, 2009 - 07:48

Thanks for your comments.
Any suggestions as to how I could have ended it?

Cheers

Paul

SundaysChild | May 12, 2009 - 22:45

I have pondered over this a while and can come up with nothing that I feel I could suggest.
I leaned towards: 'We are one' for a while:
'But we are not-
We are one'
but this now seems somehow stunted and a bit of a cliche, and does not match the lovely fluidity of the peace, or indeed capture the 'man and wife' essence that perhaps is what you are set on conveying?

Biggus | May 13, 2009 - 10:03

I really appreciate your imput.
I agree that nothing obvious fits the bill.
I think it may be best to revisit it in the near future and view it with a fresh eye.
Thanks again

Paul