UP TO A SENIOR MOMENT
One of the problems with old age
And there are a few at this late stage
Apart from my weakened bladder
Is when I reach the top of the ladder
Which in itself is no mean feat at all
It’s leant against the wrong bloody wall
A SENIOR MOMENT ON THE TOWN
After I’ve been painting the town red
It’s not the drink that does my head
Its waiting so long that gets my goat
Before I can apply a second coat
GETTING OLD
There are signs of getting old
That are enough to flip your lids
For example the page three girls
Are all younger than your kids
AGED IN THE WOOD
I think that I can say
With some certainty
That age is too high a price
To pay for maturity
THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ARE BEHIND ME
I’ve just suffered my first mid life crisis
And its something I found quite profound
When I stood naked in front of the mirror
I could see my bum without turning around
OLD LADY OF THE HOUSE
How do you get a sweet little old lady?
To say rude lingo?
Just get another sweet little old lady
To shout out BINGO!
WHAT GOES ARROUND
You know you’re getting old when you have to admit
That around the neck you’re about seventeen and a bit
While around the waist you need forty-four just to fit
And around the course whatever the par you’re over it
JUMP TO IT
If an elderly man were a young maid to take
There’d be a delay before Love they could make
He’d need to have something essential if he can
A set of jump leads connected to a younger man
OLD AND WISE
The older you get
If you ever get there
The better you realize
What you were
WUMMAGIN IN THE UNDERGROWF
My dad always used to say that
Rummaging in the garden after all
When overgrown and wild would
Always turn up an old tennis ball
