CREAM DREAM
Is this product real or just a dream?
This new fangled anti aging cream
I think it’s a little odd, at any rate
Because the stuff has a sell by date
GOOD POINT
There are thirty-two points to the compass,
Meaning that there are thirty two different ways
In which a spoon can squirt grapefruit juice
So why is it the eater gets it in the eye always
CULINARY LAW OF THE SEA
Do a lot of work eat a lot of food
Do a little work eat a little food
Do no work, burial at sea to be crude
EGG FOR EGG
One simply cannot make an omelet
Without breaking eggs let’s not forget
But it’s amazing how many eggs one can break
Without making a decent omelet
SIMPLY PHILOSOPHICAL # 3
For a good and happy life you should
Abstain from wine, women, and song
On the whole it seems good advice
But of the three I would give up song
CREAM DREAM
Is this product real or just a dream?
This new fangled anti aging cream
I think it’s a little odd, at any rate
Because the stuff has a sell by date
WELL OIL BE
It says on the label corn oil is made from corn
And vegetable oil is made out of vegetable
But to find the contents of baby oil I am unable
AA
Why do they call it Alcoholics Anonymous
when the first thing they make you do
is stand up in front of everyone and say
I am an alcoholic and my name is Sue
WHISKEY GALORE
My uncle Patrick drowned
Last week in a big vat of whisky
They tried to save him but
They fought them off bravely
We had him cremated last week
And he’s still burning fiercely
CRISPY CROUTONS
Why do croutons?
Come Vacuum sealed
It’s just stale bread
That is concealed
