HAPPY BIRTHDAY
# 1
You’ve reached a ripe old age
If you were wine you would be Vintage
But you’re a man if I may be so bold
And lets face it you’re just old
# 2
Don’t fret, many a good tune
Is played on an old fiddle
Or so I heard the saying go
So don’t despair all is not lost
Even if you are tone deaf
And you’re shaped like a Cello
# 3
Well done, you’ve made it
Be proud, be bold
You made the magic number
You’re a wonder to behold
Enjoy it you deserve it
Enjoy and let the day unfold
And don’t let anyone tell you
That you’re now just old
# 4
If you were a wheel of cheese
You would certainly be mature
But face it you’re a wrinkly
And no longer a force of nature
# 5
If you were a sports car
You would be a classic of course
But your big end has gone
And you leak from the exhaust
# 6
Just because you have reached that age
Don’t worry, all is not lost
You can still have a sex life
You will just need a younger man
And a set of jump leads
# 7
You are my dearest friend
And with hand on heart I say
I wish that by the grace of God
My special friend has a happy day
# 8
With a happy heart and a smile
I gladly take the time to send
Fondest wishes in appreciation
Of the most special of friends
# 9
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
As you may think you can sit chatting
With the opposite sex without spitting
# 10
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
For when you don’t know how many you’ve had
Can lead to you dancing like your Dad
# 11
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
Too much may make you think, like as not
That you are whispering when you are not
# 12
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
Too much may cause you to tell your friends
Again and again that you love them
# 13
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t overdo the celebrations
Too much may lead to behaviour quite amusing
And cause you to think that you can sing
# 14
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
Because the consequence of being tipsy
May well be an unexpected pregnancy
# 15
Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too much at the celebration
Too much will make it appear to you
That people are laughing WITH you
# 16
If you and your teeth
No longer sleep together
You have reached the conclusion
That you cant stay young forever
# 17
If you can no longer grow
Hair on your head
But it sprouts from
Your ears and nose instead
You have passed your best
Just as everyone said
# 18
If you creak and groan
Just tying up a shoe
And your back goes out
More than you do
It’s best not to have a drink
You’d better have a few
# 19
Don’t worry about your age
You may look old and crappy
But you still deserve to have
A birthday that’s happy
# 20
I wish you a happy birthday
And I won’t mention your age
But if you were a bottle of wine
You would definitely be vint-age
If you were a wheel of cheese
You would certainly be mature
And if you were a sports car
You’d be a classic that’s for sure
You are someone special
A one off you’re quite unique
But to be honest you should accept
You’re actually an antique
