INN TROUBLE

A mate of mine, and his new wife
Stayed in a hotel in the town of Fife
Just for one night with time to kill
And he got a two hundred pound Bill
"Two hundred pounds? For what?"
My mate said, "That seems to be a lot”
"That's for your room and board sir
Answered the odious hotel manager
My friend said, "Room and board?
We didn't even eat here." He roared
The manager said, "Well it was here
If you missed it, that's bad luck I fear"
I'm not paying the Bill My friend said
"You can take a hundred quid instead”
"I'm deducting a hundred as a fine
For sleeping with this wife of mine"
"I never touched a hair on her head"
"She was there though” My mate said