I MUST BE GETTING ON
There are certain little signs to tell
When your years are getting on in life
Like the little gray-haired old lady
You help across the road IS your wife
NOSTALGIA AINT WHAT IT USED TO BE
You had to switch the telly on
For at least ten minutes or so
In order that the set warmed up
In time for your favorite show
On Sunday after traditional lunch
We then sat down as a family
After the washing up was done
To watch the Sunday matinee
We only had three channels
Not the ninety-nine like today
Though we didn’t have choice
The quality was better I’d say
We didn’t have TV all day long
Or programs round the clock
They ran from watch with mum
Till bedtime at eleven o’clock
WELL YOU'RE GETTING OLD
Well you're getting old when you’ve outlived your enthusiasm
and if you lay in bed all day its because your backs in spasm
You’re getting old when you just can't stand intolerant people
or when your cup is always half empty and never is it half full
You’re getting old when you don’t look forward to your birthday
Or the best part of the paper is "Twenty-five years ago today”
When everything hurts and if it doesn't it doesn't work anymore
And your only exercise is with the friends you act as pallbearer for
You’re getting old when you always fall asleep in your armchair
Or when you have your teeth cleaned you don’t need to be there
You’re getting old when you’re helped across the road by a scout
Or you have that night before feeling when you haven't been out
When the glint in your eye is the sun on your glasses reflecting
Or when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get the thing rocking
WAY BACK WHEN (2)
I know times have changed
But I’m not sure when
We started to call
Tidal waves -Tsunami’s
When was it that Peking
Started to be known as Beijing
When did Bombay
Start to be called Mumbai
And most important of all
When did it stop being fashionable
To slap hysterical females
WAY BACK WHEN (1)
I miss the world that existed
When I was mobile
And phones weren’t
When there were only three TV channels
And we still had more choice
When coffee in a café
Came in only black or white
GAME OF LIFE
What I want to know is why it is that
Now I have become one of the old farts
And I’m finally holding all the cards
Every one else decides to play darts
SCATTERED TO SHATTERED
My youthful wild oats
From way back when
Have now become
A bowl of Alpen
NO FAIR
Life is indeed grossly unfair
Now I’m older and still have my wits
I’ve finally got me head together
And my body is now falling to bits
OUT OF REACH
A total lack of fitness
Is among my many woes
But I’m sure if God intended me
To repeatedly touch my toes
I think he would have put them
On my knees or elbows
