RAMBLING'S OF A LONELY DRINKER

Good evening young man
A beer and a whisky chaser
They're not the best
By some distance
They say whatever
And think that they're clever
Still horses for courses
Different strokes for different folks
I'll have another
Responsibilities and commitments
Both horns on the same beast
Two sides of the same coin
Yes I will have one more
Insignificant and ordinary
My illusions shatter
Size doesn't matter
Well they got that completely wrong
He drives a Porche because he's impotent
Same again bar steward
I'll tell you about politics
The longer the excuse,
The less likely it's the truth
Street violence and anti social behavior
Will I make old bones?
Will I buggery
Make it a large one
Your uncle plays the piano?
I can tickle the ivories
Piano forte,
Pianissimo (not loudly)
Another of those
My present wife
A little wiggle when she walked
A little giggle when she talked
Soul mates, friends
Souls intertwined
Twinned
Joined in holy padlock
Then she walked in the light
And slept with all my friends
Bring on the dancing girls
Again my good man
Billy no stars
Johnny no mates
Don't mock the afflicted
Raise the drinking age back up to twenty one
"Do you believe angels sing?
"And every time you hear a bell ring
An angel gets their wings
Bells and whistles
Belt and braces
Heracles herded the mares of Diomedes
Did you know that?
Just one more
As a rule they offer no resistance
My hands move inexorably up her thigh
Just a small double
We've lost the second post
I went to Shakespeare's school
But he was in the year above
Spats - you don't see them anymore
Oh another yes
You're going on a five mile run?
I can't complete a cross country run
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder treason and what the hell was that
That wasn't a rocket it was scud
Fireworks, fireworks it's like living in a war zone
What last orders?
Does driving through a tunnel make you excited?
A double and a double chaser
Bingo bango bongo
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless
Mentionaing no names
But look where my eyes rest
Yogurty smogurty
Another double in their
The exited states of America
The united states of aggression
Was that the bell?
What was my worth?
When my life meant so little
When my heart never felt compassion
Why should I care for them?
When I have my ration
Rhymes and reasons
What closing already
A confused sperm wouldn't start from here
My faith was so false
Bloody muppetry
Its merry Christmas not happy holidays
That's political correctness
A little bloke with a chip on his shoulder
Is actually vertically challenged
And no genders are aloud
Sure I'll share a bottle with you friend
The Dead Sea scrolls
If he wasn't dead id kill him I
What a treasure lets go bury it".
Ugly sharks you can't even eat them
He has a face like a basset hound
Still he's more to be pitied than scolded
Had sex in a cemetery once
no? Then you haven't lived
Thanks I will have some more
A certified bitch
drove first husband to shoot himself
suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism
I'm not ready to die
I want to leave something to show I was here
Something from a science fiction show,
I've suffered enough
You got arrested for stalking?
But not convicted
Damn every time I see a street sign,
I have an urge to relieve myself on it
Let's sit awhile
The long blinks are setting in
I shall rest my eyes