YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN

You know you're getting old when you have to squint to see
And a dripping tap will cause an uncontrollable urge to pee
You regret all those times that you resisted the temptation
And you get winded playing chess and it causes hypertension
You know you're getting old when you can't get up unaided
And your children begin to look middle-aged and jaded
Your head keeps making promises that your body can't keep
And when you're watching television all you do is fall asleep
You know you're getting old no matter how hard you try
It's when you still chase women but you can't remember why
Your knees buckle easily but your belt doesn't anymore
And your new pacemaker keeps opening the garage door