Journal Progress - J2

So J1 was about my 1st qtr here. Starting this to keep track of stuff over the next 3 mths. Back from the break feels like things are going at the rate of knots on here. I didn't expect so much to be posted over the holiday period. A lot of memories for people, reflecting on mortality and there's been quite a bit of self-examination that comes with this time of year for many.

I know some folks on here have been knowing each other for over a decade, though I think I've shared more of myself than I usually do, with let's face it - people I don't really know, still have that newbee thing with me. Socialising and communicating online as a species is something I think about, probably need to think about it more but because of the writing interest it feels more valid. Learn a lot from folks on here which I appreciate, that real sense of community and all that goes with it of course GBU.

I see that big red thing is back. First time I saw it, put me in a tail spin just thinking bout the word but I think I have that more in perspective now. Still have those roses to plant out back.

There's old stuff I would like to rewrite but have new projects to get on with. I don't even know whether I'm planning to do too much as far as health considerations go. I push too hard the impact is really not worth what it could cost me but it is hard sometimes to reign in that creativity because I have to give my eyes and limbs a rest. All so inconvenient at times.

Trying to concentrate on all the things I can do within reason and not worry too much about things I can't participate in because of the consequences to my health. I'm quite boring really. Can't read half as much as I would like but been living with that for years now. Glad I read a lot when I was younger.
02.01.12

Storm last night and this morning/afternoon has been something else!!! Had to write about it.
Also, I've been meaning to update another 1980's story on FGM for nearly 20 mths. I think I need to add it to my list of priorities to do. My eyes are bugging because I didn't sleep. Need to rest them.

"Can a mother's tender care cease towards the child she bared? Though you may forgetful be, yet will I remember thee ..." RIP Stephen, so emotional, still praying for your family. Your bones couldn't even be laid here. The rest have still to be caught.
03.01.12

Lawrence sentencing today. The killers are still free following his "unprovoked" murder which stemmed from their racist beliefs. From imperialist, racist and coveteous ideology that has been ingrained across the world as enterprise is obviously still entrenched in all levels of society in the UK including the CJS. Poorly educated thugs are not the only ones who operate in an "unprovoked" way - others present obstacles to change and have to be challenged clearly by the rest of us. There is a global recession and neo Nazis are on the rise. The threat is real - the world has been here before. People will have to make a choice. A lot of manipulation to scupper justice by even doing "nothing" or doing things deliberately to "derail" progress goes on to ensure things stay the same and quite frankly this situation is now untenable. It is not so much unwitting as it is a well known and practised strategy in high circles - and we know it. It is a way of keeping control.
04.01.12

Jamaicans again in the fireline - Diane Abbott. Perhaps she best ease up on tweeting aye??? Blown out of proportion in the heat of the Lawrence verdict - not a sackable issue. As for the CRE, I wrote them years ago about revising their definition of what a race is because unless they are labelling by cultural assimilation it bears little reality to what is genetically apparent, given this is the 21st century. Also raised this in the 1990's on Andrew's phone-in show - perhaps he should revisit this on his politics show on TV where Diane is a regular!!! He should remember because I raised the question of blood types in a football team. Given the wrong type of transfusion can certainly kill and the consequences for child and maternal mortality before 20th century "advances" in medicine. They have programmes now like: "Who do you think you are?" There is no excuse. The genetic profiling in Jamaicans for example does not fit the history that has been peddled. The whole thing is an absolute farce. Yes Ephraim also knows and the powers of course. I'm remembering also Hosea's story.
05.01.12

PNP returned to power in JA and wanting to turn into a republic. PrH to visit couple months time. Jamaicans again in the int'l spotlight. Auntie wants me to visit. Who knows, maybe time to go home too. Out of the Commomwealth, what would this all mean for Jamaicans abroad - status etc? Oh what a headache to sort all this in UK Jubilee Year - if not now when???
06.01.12

Love/Romance/Circumstance ... Remembering this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwoKq6HPwkE
07.01.12

I need to smile more for sure. That jade again. Thinking about how my mum used to cook, she'd be all over this sugar thing no problem. What with everything else sometimes it just all feels overwhelming. So all the horror is out there - nothing left to explain. I'm behind again, about 4 weeks. The news is on, just heard SL's father talking about why he moved and that witch trial stuff just came on. It all feels too much and I want to disappear down a rabbit hole. Are rabbits safer here than humans?

Like to get back to the stories but first I need to rebalance my health issues. Feel like I'm going to Pot. Yah help me, pray. I feel a mess today.
9.1.12

Rest just helps to lift stuff. So the Scots want to break away from the UK too. Immigration reports released. Could almost get the impression this is all being orchestrated or is it all coincidence within days??? At least a couple posts got me smiling, thankfully. I have been thinking about apple pie and cream for over a week. I am feeling this is a weakness.
10.1.12

I am flaring, tried to prevent it but hopefully it won't be a bad one but I need get out today regardless. Just a little. Heard from them back home, pics and stuff. Just made me so happy.

Well, there is a connection between Scotland and Jamaica - James I - not one of my favourite historical figures as far as fates go. So the Scottish connection runs deep and red. This also brings up that Templar stuff too. How do these connections play out in the here and now? This is not a game of coincidence, of that I am sure.
11.1.12

Going out yesterday was not so clever and I really take on board why I normally would not do it when I start flaring. Really paid for it today. I don't know how some people do marathons!!! Bless them!
12.1.12

Well the Scottish connection for me is real personal and quite a cracker. Historical journey right back to the Land. Interested in learning more about the clans though. Yeh, so there's more linkage with Scotland and Jamaica than most would imagine at first glance. Also been thinking about when the Chinese first circumnavigated the world and what they saw. I mean, were they mermen or elephant seals in Antarctica that they saw???

Starting to feel a touch better today.
*****

Can't remember when I wrote the above entry. Abba's blessings I managed to dampen my flare. Also need to not live from one b/test to the next. So just really picking myself up. The 80's post got me. FTSE's Adiemus with those incredible pics of nature - that whole music set. Then "Tempted" and "Hey Little Girl". Stuff takes you back but hey ... Let's go forward, get what you need to do done. Panda life!!!
16.1.12

Today it feels more collectively conscious by theme which no one proposed. Noticed this spontaneity before and it is quite awesome when creatively stated.
17.1.12

Read at ABC meeting for the first time in public since 1990's. Had meant to read after the break but TC trumped me on that. I read 2nd. More new faces reading. It was a good meeting and hope worth it for those who travelled long distances. More people need to attend though. Think there should be a drive for the summer at least.

Today I am feeling sore but thankfully not flaring. Reading the other night made me realise just how much meds have affected even my voice and aging stuff. I find I am still 8 weeks behind my targets so I need to step up and get started even though I am still tired today.
20.1.12

So I finally got round to doing Ch3 of FLR and posted it. Slept on it and had to go back over it sorting the slips etc. You wish you could spot them all first, second time reviewing but ... So there's the opening chapters. Bit of a toss up to finish this first or CP. FLR is more time sensitive now while CP is in the past and can be done any time. That's my dilemma. I want to finish CP because it has been with me the longest but FLR is about now. I also have my life to get on with - oh please!!!
Snow leopard blew to Africa.
22.1.12

Yes accomplished. So much going on in the world.
Meeting up with the other group post hols was good. Reviewing CP first 5 with them. Haven't been feeling so great last couple days and eyes bugging a little.
26.1.12

OK so I thought a mouse cramped my style, made me scream and jump and I went through this tremendous process of feeling nonplussed. I won't go into any more detail as it is quite unhinging. Finally found missing papers and of course they were right there where I had thoughtfully mind you, put them months ago because of decorators. Decorators and mice I think have a tendency to turn one's life upside down so you forget important stuff like that and you just want to send them all packing!!! Oh please. Don't make me sink any lower because I have lost at least 2 days looking for them this week and been through a truck load of emotions. I don't even know how I managed to write anything while this was all going on and not feeling too good either too. Close your ears while I let out a loud scream!!!
Unfortunately it sounded more like a damp sigh. Never mind aye. Drank too much coffee last couple days. Prayer, prayer, prayer. Yeshua help me stay away from carbs. Yeh currently out of sorts.
30.1.1

Looking back on this month, I've put more here than I intended but really wondering about what I've achieved this month. Surely I have gazed on where the world is heading. There's a difference between those who stand together and those who will just fall away and always have. I think I have learnt a lot this month and I'm not behind of course. Exactly where it starts now. Love finds her way ...
31.1.12