He was a small squat man
with a large bald head
leaned permanently
to the left,
as though he always
looked askance.
He smelled of body odour,
stale smoke and
was marked by yellowed
upper lip
where nicotine
had stained his skin, as he
continually held
the ever-present cigarette
between his lips,
both thin and wet.
And when he smiled
(which was rare)
his rotten teeth
would turn the strongest
stomach sour.
Around the house
he wore a cap:
greasy, flat;
in oily overalls he’d tut
and sigh
if anyone got in his way.
He never thought to say “excuse me,”
but mumbled and grumbled
through each day
and treated life just like a chore.
He didn’t treat my mother though,
not to a night at the pictures
or a box of Black Magic
(they were her favourites)
When she died, he cried
rather a lot.
Six months later he had a smart new suit,
false teeth, a wig,
and fancy shoes!
And then,
he took up ballroom dancing again…

Comments
Jasper_Milvain | February 2, 2009 - 18:33
There are some nice details in here. I like the 'large bald head leaned permanently to the left'. That has a really nice, lumpy sound with those long and short vowel sounds combined.
I don't know how other readers will respond, but I found myself thinking, 'You go, guy.' in the final stanza. I'm happy for the chap and his new found joie de vivre. I'm not sure whether I am supposed to be.
I think that perhaps this is a rather clever little piece.
Thanks a lot.
JM
threeleafshamrock | February 2, 2009 - 20:43
Well, I wasn't happy for him and I would rather the poem finished with him crying and remorseful. The earlier part of the poem suggests that he deserves it. Nice Work!
Chris
Nathan Bednarek | February 5, 2009 - 23:44
This is just brilliant and so powerful. The ending is perfect and the whole poem is a wonderful read. Well done.
Nathan.