~~
My head thrown back
mouth slightly open
eyes shut and shoulders shaking
with convulsive laughter.
When I opened my eyes
they were full of you
standing tall, smiling.
Confusion tumbled
through my brain.
Who were you?
Why were you standing there
looking at me that way?
My sister’s voice penetrated.
“You’re late, you said eight
she has to catch the bus soon”
“Sorry" you said.
"If I’d known she looked
like that I would have turned up at seven”
You didn’t take your eyes off me
all the time you were talking.
I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks
and you kept on looking;
those laughing brown eyes twinkling and
flashing mischievously…
I caught the bus with the taste
of your mouth still on my lips…
©
Copyright
VMM2008
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | October 28, 2008 - 22:18
'I caught the bus with the taste
of your mouth still on my lips… '
These lines are a perfect ending to this piece and they say so much. These lines are like a sonnet of fourteen words; so perfectly crafted, so balanced and they’re such a reflection of the quality of the whole poem.
A great read, well done.
Nathan ;-)
Bradene | October 30, 2008 - 19:15
Nathan you are so kind and generous with your comments thank you very much Love Val x