One Dark Night Long Ago... (A re-write)


from the ABC set Life's Ups And Downs

She thought
he may have cared
once long ago,
she remembered the wide, dark
entry she had to pass
en route from the bus stop to home.
She would imagine
Something dark waiting to leap out at her,
he would laugh ,
with shining eyes,
saying “silly girl”

Later, one moonless night
after he kissed her goodnight,
she left him to run home.
Reaching the entry,
she moved up a gear
her heel caught, sparked,
she fell, along with a squeal from her lips.

He heard, came running,
helped her gently to her feet.
His gallantry made him miss the last bus
and he had to walk home that night.
Now years later, reflecting,
it popped into her mind
the ‘something dark’
she had been waiting for
with such trepidation had actually caught her.

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Comments

MistakenMagic | October 19, 2009 - 16:05

Loved the original of this Val and love this one just as much, if not more - really like the three stanza structure!

Magic xxx

Bradene | October 19, 2009 - 16:20

Thanks Magic, I was beginning to think this was rubbish, I'm not sure, maybe it is. Thanks for your positive comments. I appreciate them. Val

Silver Spun Sand | October 20, 2009 - 07:52

Hi there, Val. I agree, wholeheartedly with Magic on this one. Love what you have done with it and the three stanza structure works very well. Hope you are OK;-)

Tina xx

sarah wilson | October 20, 2009 - 08:02

Certainly not rubbish!! Lovely poem, one i really enjoyed xx

Cavalcaderl | October 21, 2009 - 18:57

Bradene
yes I liked it to very well put
It sounds very true all of it.
So many miss the last bus or train
o used to.Time passes by.
julie x cavalcader (:-