Home

Uncle Tom (The Re-write)

Posted by Bradene on June 20, 2009 - 10:42
from the ABC set A Tribute to...

Uncle Tom was funny,
whenever there was a family party
he’d entertain us with
a wink and a wiggle

Uncle Tom was camp
when I still thought camp was coffee
or a couple of nights
spent in a tent
in the great outdoors.

Be-turbaned,
wearing peep toed shoes;
scarlet slashed mouth,
mascara eyes flashing
mischievously,
he blew kisses at the men
making them blush
and rush for another pint;
he would joke about stuff
I could never quite understand.

The men would guffaw,
the women looked abashed
when they laughed, then tut-tut
with eyebrows aloft.
We children though would giggle
at his falsetto voice,
and choice of clothes.

Uncle Tom was a projectionist
at the picture house;
each night Hollywood
filled his eyes with stars
his head with impossible dreams,
yet, strangely he stylishly achieved both
inhabiting his own personal Tinsel Town

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Ewan | June 20, 2009 - 10:52

Hi Val, good idea to go for something more anecdotal.

Two things; it's often hard to pull off the (near) repetition of a word in lines so close together, 'dreams/dream.'

Secondly, it's still quite overt with the last couplet, would you agree?

I thought of something like this (and it's only to give you the general idea, I'd expect you to come up with much better)

filled his eyes with stars
his head with impossible dreams.
Yet, somehow, he managed to strive for both,
whilst reaching for the sequins.

Hope you don't mind, just say and I'll stop.
Ewan

Bradene | June 20, 2009 - 11:17

I don't mind at all, please don't stop(-; You may have noticed my absence of late! Chronic writer's block so I need a kick. I'll see what I can come up with. Val

Bradene | June 20, 2009 - 11:53

I'm not sure that it's better than your suggestion Ewan, but better than my last effort. (-; Val

Bradene | June 20, 2009 - 16:32

Wey-hey! that must be the hardest I ever worked for a couple of cherries, but I have to say it was worth it. Thankyou Mr cherrypicker whoever you are. (-; Val xx

Silver Spun Sand | June 20, 2009 - 17:48

Val - my, oh my!! And didn't you work on this one. Many congratulations. A more than deserved cherry.

Tina xx

sunshine | June 20, 2009 - 17:59

I'm so pleased you got a cherry for this one. Really enjoyed it. Margot

luigi_pagano | June 20, 2009 - 18:46

Chronic writer's block? So what happens when you are in full flow? You seem to be building up a collection of cherries. Well done.

Luigi x

DraxB | June 21, 2009 - 15:44

A lovely tribute of what sounds like an interesting character

Bradene | June 21, 2009 - 16:18

Hi Tina once again Thank you. Love Val x

Bradene | June 21, 2009 - 16:18

Thanks Margot. Love Val x

Bradene | June 21, 2009 - 16:19

Hi Luigi thanks for the comments. Love Val x

Bradene | June 21, 2009 - 16:21

He was a smashing Guy, very kind and sweet everyone loved him. Thanks drax for stopping by. Val