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The 70' in one poem. Is this a poem?

Posted by breather on October 22, 2009 - 23:48
from the ABC set poetry emulsion

In 1970
I was starting
To use heroin
As a career move.
It made good sense to me
To use this stuff.
Because I was convinced,
At this ripe old age.
Of 18
That I
Was useless.
This was backed up by the outer reality.
A very disturbing experience
This reality
Old men wearing flares
And flowery shirts.
The Sweeney anyone ?
Oh my god get me out of here
Now!
Heroin took all problems away
The guy that sold me Heroin
Hereafter referred to as smack,
Was my doctor not the evil person the press had made him into
What a shit time it was
The seventies were really fucked up.
The lost generation standing around in a field somewhere listening To the grateful dead
The grateful dead
Or some other bunch
Of fucked up,
As it turned out,
Losers
Peddling their wares to an all too susceptible crowd.
Lost in the middle of a field in the dark
Surrounded by allot of others
Pretending that they were having
A good time?
The 70's?

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Comments

Frances Macaula... | October 26, 2009 - 03:10

In my own humble opinion (of course): no, but that doesn't mean it isn't a poem to someone else. Poetry is totally subjective and although many, many have tried, any one person giving a definitive answer to the question "what is a poem?" which would be acceptable to all, is impossible.
In the light of the above, you've asked the question so I shall endeavour to answer from my observation: please accept my criticism as support and encouragement from a fellow writer.
IS THIS A POEM?: I personally feel the line-breaks are wrong, capitalization of each new line is very telling, the end word of each line should be as powerful as the first word. This piece needs a severe edit and there's no art - just an opinion which offers no new observation. It's as if you've taken a short note and chopped it up to 'appear' as poetry without knowing the rules of the art.
Hope I've helped...
Best
Frances.

breather | October 28, 2009 - 09:53

You're spot on I do not know any rules, let alone poetry rules . . . . Thanks