Nibble

I can’t remember the last time
a celebrity was eaten
by a tiger

Surely it should be happening
all the time

What an exciting way
to get rid of, for example,
a talentless former
contestant on the X-Factor
while at same time spreading
fear and panic amongst
the wider population

Every gossip magazine
and freelance publicist
needs to get their own tiger immediately
they wouldn’t need to eat celebrities,
or even whole people, to begin with

I expect in the first instance
the public would be amused enough
if a tiger just bit off a social worker’s face