Birthdays

I am going off birthdays. Hardly anyone remembers mine and other people's cost me too much money. There were a couple of highlights - My 22mth old granddaughter, Chloe, sent me a voicemail with the aid of my son, Richard. My other son came around with cards and a present and gave me a hug etc. Three Stephen King novels in a box. Just what one wants in these cold winter evenings - something scary to read under a blanket.
I didn't sleep at all last night and I'm not even tired. I am having a few drinks at home - bad habit, I know - and getting fish-cakes and mash cooked by my flatmate, Dean. It sounds simple for a birthday meal but I made a gorgeous hot fish chowder (see recipe) last night so want something simple tonight.
I am still incredibly down and cannot seem to snap out of it. It doesn't help that my flatmate is a manic depressive cos he's down at least half of the time. I'm hoping its just a cyclic thing and will therefore pass soon. Its happened before and doesn't usually last more than a week or so. I'm hanging in, trying not to walk under a bus or off a cliff or into the sea.
Its too bloody cold to drown and the NHS is too crap to be in their hands if you survive, especially here in Nowheresville.