Silhouette of a hat, mac, raised arm.
They say the first time's the hardest –
bang! Blood and brain on the sidewalk.
Rain sweeps the grime underground.
They say the first time's the hardest.
Score some, punch a vein; black heaven.
Rain sweeps the grime underground
to car-jacking, hold-ups, petty theft.
Score some, punch a vein; black heaven.
Get a taste for it yourself and fall
to car-jacking, hold-ups, petty theft.
All night cutting and bagging the stuff.
Get a taste for it yourself and fall –
you're either a someone or a no one.
All night cutting and bagging the stuff.
New York's ghosts rise late, hail cabs.
You're either a someone or a no one.
Bang! Blood and brain on the sidewalk.
New York's ghosts rise late, hail cabs.
Silhouette of a hat, mac, raised arm.
Comments
brighteyes | April 2, 2008 - 09:03
The pantoum form works really well with the clipped, fast-paced gumshoe set-up here. You get shadows, threats and brief glimpses of people - perfect for the genre.
chant | April 2, 2008 - 10:25
cheers, K!
martin_t | April 2, 2008 - 12:45
i like it, excellent stuff!!
Dendrite | April 3, 2008 - 23:01
Very true and real, I even looked up pantoum, hum...
Get a taste for it yourself and fall –
you're either a someone or a no one.
Yes, exactly. But how in the world can you know this?
chant | April 7, 2008 - 09:41
cheers, martin!
chant | April 7, 2008 - 09:42
hello Dendrite, thanks for reading and commenting!
LawOfTheOne | April 7, 2008 - 19:44
Just read this now after looking around the forums.
It's great, I love the style, pantoum you say.
sunshine | April 13, 2008 - 12:20
Paints the scene superbly and the repetition ensures the sense of the inevitable choices. thank you.
chant | April 14, 2008 - 09:24
heya LawOfTheOne, thanks for commenting.
chant | April 14, 2008 - 09:24
thanks, sunshine!
RachelPatricia | June 6, 2010 - 21:56
Just read through a load of your stuff - this one is an absolute pleasure to read, chant. Never heard of 'pantoum' before but must say it is a form I have a new appreciation for, thanks to you! Will try and have a go at it myself some day but doubt I would ever be able to pull it off with such conviction as you have here. Really, really good - should've got two cherries, an apple, an orange and a whole bunch of bananas if you ask me :)
Really is a joy to come across another poet I can admire, thanks so much for sharing this.
Rachel xx