Saga

I often wonder if the outcome would have been different had Grendell brought a bottle and joined in :-) Enjoyed atb Lena x

chant: Very talky. Perhaps

comma after darkness in second line instead of period.

I'd cut the first line of the second stanza,
the third and fourth lines of the third stanza and really you could eliminate the whole stanza,
and "Deeds, not words, my first/language." in the fourth stanza.

Show the last two lines of the poem, though here's a possible compromise,

Last time they got a taste
for group jamming on harps
I locked the door behind me
and gutted that mead hall.

If you consider the suggested deleted lines to be key you could solve the problem by "showing" but a sparer poem would have more punch and it's a pretty simple scenario going down.

To your attention, Swep

yes indeed, thanks Lena!

excellent crit as usual, thanks Swep, am now reworking this one.

Tight edit, love the word play:

as Mother dubbed them, skin
sleek with ox fat and honey.

atb L

thanks L.