Baby

The baby humiliates me by staring cold-eyed as I open my mouth, stick out my tongue and grin into its face.

My eyes widen with the terror that I am going to have to continue with this gasping and gurgling, because they’re all looking at me. Over the noise of my own unstoppable nonsense I realise that this is the moment the pretending begins. I am introducing it right now.

Terrified that they, my friends, husband, parents, will witness the baby seeing through the facade I have built up over three long decades I gurn into its new, unspoilt face, determined to defeat it’s natural integrity in order to remain normal in the eyes of my peers.

I smile like I’ve never thought about violence, widen my eyes like abortion never crossed my mind and chuckle like suicide just isn’t an option and when the baby, finally, uncertainly, gives in and smiles back, I am disappointed with it afresh.