When I'm in my element
I conjure up an elephant
But of course it's just a symbol for a problem in my life
And when I'm in my altitude
I have another attitude
then I'm rather prone to say the strangest things
And if I want to say much more
then I tame a metaphor
to perform a clever trick, a rabbit from a hat
So when we speak of reality
I imagine it's just a formality
to make the many sound just like one
And therefore if I think I am
I could as well be a hologram
as the thinker, the observer, and observed
But if you find this schizophrenic
or even hallucinogenic
then we beg your pardon one and all
Comments
Jasper_Milvain | February 1, 2009 - 18:02
It's very jolly - for the most part I think the rhythm works well. I'm sure you've practised and all and are certain about the way it should sound.
When you write:
then I tame a metaphor
to perform a clever trick, as a rabbit from a hat
could you just say
a rabbit from a hat
as then you'd have a kind of double metaphor in that line that might make the humour clearer rather than muddling things with a simile?
Just a suggestion you understand.
Enjoyed reading this.
JM
Chris Whitley | February 1, 2009 - 19:26
Hi JM,
thank you for reading it and giving your good advice. You are right; it is better. Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks again
Chris
P.S.
I'll takea look at your stuff