A – Z of Breast Cancer: LONE PARENT

Let’s get one thing straight, not all lone parents are the benefit scrounging, beer drinking, chip eating slobs the media reports on. Some of us don’t even watch daytime TV. Some of us are quite nice really.

The blame game

Getting a diagnosis of cancer was the only time I really worried about being a lone parent. Before that, I smugly looked on as two parent units fought over how best to discipline little Tarquin. They were always contradicting each other and confusing the child. They were always bickering about how best to bring him up, always blaming each other. Blame doesn’t exist in the same way for a lone parent. Responsibility does. Getting cancer only highlights that, and for once I thought I’d been irresponsible in bringing up this child on my own. But then I wised up. You cannot stay with an abusive or neglectful or cruel man just in case you get sick some time down the line. Then I thought, maybe I was irresponsible for not trying harder to find a new mate and replacement dad. Too late now. What would I put on my internet profile? Good sense of humour, all own teeth, one boob…

Look for the small mercies:

At least you don’t have to worry about your husband worrying. And let’s face it that’s probably what would happen. You know you’d end up looking after him, making sure he didn’t get too stressed, trying not to wake him when you cry at night, keeping his spirits up. Poor love.

As a lone parent you can devote all your attention to keeping your own and the children’s spirits up. Far better.

PS. Yes, I do consume chips and beer sometimes, but never for breakfast.

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