A – Z of Breast Cancer: UNIVERSE (Centre of)

Six months after my operation. I went into a public swimming pool at peak time sporting only one and a bit boobs and no prosthesis. I know that for relatively flat chested women like me this is easier but it still isn’t easy. I chose my costume carefully. Bypassing the skimpy spaghetti strap bikinis with a sigh, I chose a boring once piece swimsuit that came up almost to the collar bone and had enough padding to hide my one nipple joke. It was one of those serious swimsuits that flatten even the perkiest of breasts. Streamlining you. I was sure to knock a few minutes of my lap time.

I stood at the tunnel entrance of the pool and wondered how I would make it to the safety of the water. I felt like I was in one of those awful anxiety dreams where you find yourself at work with no clothes on and can’t figure out how to get home unnoticed. People brushed past me impatient and eager, and I made my move. My instinct was to cower and scuttle to the edge of the pool but I thought I might look like a pervert or a weirdo so I stood up straight and walked like a normal person. And the strangest thing happened: no one turned to gawp, no one even batted an eyelid. No one noticed me. It seems I am not the centre of the universe.

Tip: If you are anxious about your skin reacting with the chlorine smear the affected area with ointment like Vaseline or Diprobase. It will act as a barrier and prevent the area from drying out. It worked for me. You might feel like you’re being smeared with goose fat in readiness to swim the channel but it’ll be worth it.