Tap...tap...tap...tap!

Tap...tap...tap...tap!
On and on it went relentlessly from behind the wipe-down floral patterned curtain separating the beds at the southernmost tip of Bernadette La Font Memorial Ward. The sound of it drove Benny mad, well not the sound so much as the pauses between words, each seemingly containing a different length and quality of silence as ‘the writer’ which was how Benny had come to think of his fellow patient, poked and prodded away incessantly at a cruddy old manual typewriter, all through the day and most of the night too.
But what could he possibly have to write about?
He was bandaged from head to foot and only able to communicate by means of a small blackboard and piece of chalk he kept on his bedside cabinet next to his barley water and correction fluid, holding up signs to the nurses bearing legends such as ‘Yes’ ‘No’ ‘two lumps please’
He had been there for as long as Benny could remember. No one came to visit him except the Chaplain, and he never left his bed. This man, thought Benny is writing a story, a story without an end, it seems. Perhaps it was autobiography, most people seemed to find the minutiae of their private existence endlessly fascinating, unlike Benny who thought it seemed like a waste of time (private existence that is, not autobiography) Benny had read quite a few sensationalist self penned tomes and was quick to appreciate the merits of sordidly embellished rumour and downright exaggeration and had enjoyed them immensely, especially the little sections in the middle with pictures.
The Nurse swept into the ward looking radiant in her second best tiara, and began merrily fussing with the candlewick bedspread tucked messily around Benny’s bed, Benny sat bolt upright, eyes rolling in his head, tongue lolling, beads of sweat breaking out on his brow- The Nurse leaned forward and loosened his tie which he had inadvertently tightened to strangulation levels by pulling the wrong end...
‘Good Morning Benny’ She fanned herself elegantly with a copy of Incontinence Weekly
‘Got some news for ya...’ Benny smoothed his hair down and took a sip of water from his cabinet.
What? What? I mean...Come on! Cried Benny as The Nurse leaned in close, displaying a considerable amount of very impressive cleavage, through the opening of what was most certainly not a regulation uniform.
‘Your favourite patient’ The Nurse mouthed silently at him, gesturing vigorously towards the curtain
‘is getting a visitor’ she mouthed the words carefully as Benny looked on in complete dismay, squinting and fidgeting under the coverlet...
’Hey Stop that! Both hands on top of the sheets please! She said in a stern voice and whispered into Benny’s ear
‘ His publisher is flying in, from Milan, or London or something, to speak to him about ‘the book’
‘You smell like oranges’, Benny swooned up at her‘and spring leaves, and milk and errr errr...
...THE BOOK! My God, I mean, Nurse- this is our big chance! Get the shaving trolley and prosthetic facial hair cabinet at once!’